Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Classes They Should Have Taught in High School

This is the 2nd part to a 2-part post about the uselessness of some information taught in school these days.  You can scroll down to see the other one.

Grocery Shopping 101
Otherwise known as, "how to keep your sanity while shopping at 5 p.m. on a Friday night with 4 hungry kids and the rest of the insane town of Effingham"......or better yet, how to plan so you don't have to. 

Producing Your Own Food
Not just gardening or raising livestock, but what to do with it afterwards.....canning, freezing, drying.  How to make your own convenience foods.  How to grow and preserve your own herbs.  Where the different cuts of meat come from and the best way to prepare them for eating.

Childcare
Even if you don't ever have children of your own, you will at sometime be exposed to them.  Learning how to deal with the little buggers for extended periods of time in stressful/enclosed situations is priceless information.  Paper airplane making, shadow puppets. obscure storytelling.
Also included in this class would be: how to type one handed because Abby is on your lap, again........how to convince Abby to speak - at this point I don't even care if it is English.........how to stop Bear from talking to complete strangers (they aren't strangers, mom, they are friends)........how to juggle the social demands of a teenager and preteen while occupying 2 preschoolers.......In fact, it might be more useful to just send 2 or 3 students each day to my house and they can get some hands-on experience.  Probably won't need that sex-ed class afterwards either.  LOL

Money Management
How to adapt to rising cost of healthcare, gas, food and number of children on a paycheck that gets taxed a little more every week.  Otherwise known as couponing, sales watching and resale shopping 101

Hazardous Driving 101
Techniques taught should include driving while ice is still on the window because you were to cold/lazy/late to scrape the windshield, driving while breaking up fist fights in the back seat, driving while digging cell phone out of bottomless diaper bag, driving while trying to hand sippy-cup to baby sitting behind you, driving home late on only 3 hours of sleep, driving while reading the owners manual to find out what that odd warning light is.........basically multitasking

Science/Health
Topics could include: what do different colors of snot mean, proper administration of cold/fever reducing medication to small children at 3 a.m., differentiation between rashes, spots and bruises........learn how to play "name that cough".  Classes should be taught during the same semester as Childcare classes because you can guarantee at some point to be waiting in an empty ER waiting room for 4 hours to be sent home with a screaming child and no medication or pain relief. 

Childless Adulthood 101
For those who are paying attention to the sex-ed classes and chose not to have children this class could give all those tips and pointers for how to avoid those who do.........childless eating establishments, proper shopping times, etc.  Also a course on giving unwanted advice.  Required for graduation: Childcare class.....lets face it, you can't avoid them so you might as well learn how to entertain them.  Their parents will be eternally grateful.

Time Management 101
Showers for 6 people in one bathroom in 15 mins, dealing with last minute notes from school, overdue library books, work assignments, coaching schedules, church obligations and more. 

Maybe its just me.  If they would have taught this stuff in high school then maybe I wouldn't have had to take so much on-the-job training.  I love my children dearly and wouldn't trade a minute of my life for anything else but it is chaos!  I hope that all of you have a wonderful day :)

1 comment:

Victoria said...

LOL. These are good, Carie.