Friday, December 28, 2007

I am the Most Protected Woman in the World

Most of you know that my 10 year old son is a 1st degree black belt. My 7 year old son achieved his 1st degree black belt in Oct. On Dec. 20 my dh also earned his 1st degree black belt. I am not sure that there is another woman on the planet that is as safe as I am :)

Gearing Up For the New Year

I am planning for the new year. I usually enjoy that task, but this year I am feeling overwhelmed. I am anxious about starting school back up with the baby in tow. If you really knew me, you would know that something like this wouldn't normally bother me at all. I have worked school around much larger distractions than a sweet little baby.

I suspect that part of my anxiety is due to the fact that my house is a disaster. I am not just saying that, this place is trashed. I am embarrased to have anyone over, but unexpected guests have arrived the last 2 days. And I felt as tall as an ant. I don't know what kind of character flaw I have that has allowed this to happen......and don't try to tell me that I can be excused because of the new baby.....this place was in bad shape before then. And pregnancy wasn't an excuse either because it wasn't all that clean before that. I admit it....I am a messy person, who happens to live with people who are also messy and don't care about the results. I am also lazy (which is a main character fault that I need to work on with God's grace).

I also need to start working on healthier eating. So far that isn't going well, as I have been eating every BAD thing that I come into contact large quantities. And I feel bad about it. Just not bad enough to STOP.

I fear that maybe I am depressed. I know that a good dose of exercise would probably help my outlook on life, but I don't have the energy to even think about that. I need to seek out time with God and His word, but I crave sleep so badly that I don't get around to it. I need to clean, but I want to snuggle with my baby. I struggle to see where to drag myself out of this hole that I have created.

So I am getting ready to go to God in prayer and ask his assistance in all of this. I am going to seek out his promises in my life. I am going to ask for help to conquer my lazy tendencies and for guidance in my housekeeping duties. I will listen for his leading in our homeschooling schedule. I am grateful that God is available to me through his son Jesus Christ.

Send on the New Year......I think that I will be ready to face it!

Ladies Against Feminism

There are some really great, new articles over at Ladies Against Feminism. I was especially blessed by the one about going from a messy to a neat person and the ones about modesty. I needed the encouragment of these articles today!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Time Marches On

Can you imagine that my baby is 6 weeks old today? I am only to aware of how quickly they grow up, evidenced by the 10 year old and 7 year old building a fort in the bedroom. For now, Little Bear is asleep in his bouncy seat; safe, warm and comfortable under a veggie tales blanket.

I am sitting now typing this in my blue jumper, blue t-shirt and grey/black sweater; gazing out the window into the fog. At 3:30 it is just as foggy as it was this morning. A dreary day, if not a cold one.....Norman said it was 54 degrees. But I can still feel the chill.

Today was productive. I worked on laundry, fixed lunch and worked on Christmas cards. I actually managed to get them done too! For lunch I fixed Creamy Italian Chicken. I thought that it was yummy served over rice, but we will wait for Norman's verdict before I put it on the menu rotation. Even the boys like it and I liked that it quickly went into the crockpot.

If Little Bear isn't grouchy this evening I may knit a little. I have one sock of a pair done and it would be a wonderful pick-me-up to have the other done....they are my favorite :)

I am happily settled into my home for the evening. God has truly blessed me with this winter season to rest and regain control of my household duties. God is merciful and always gives help when asked. I am a blessed woman indeed!

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Passionate Housewives

Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald have written a wonderful book called Passionate Housewives: Desperate for God. This is a wonderful book that gives a Godly perspective on what our job as home makers truly is.....God given and God ordained. I have been blessed by this book so much as I get back into the swing of things after the birth of Norman. It is available from Vision Forum Ministries.

A Little Bit About Me

Candy posted her autobiography and urged that we share a little about ourselves as well. Most of my readers are also my friends in "real life" but maybe they will learn a little something about me that they didn't already know :)

I am the oldest of 3 children, I have 2 younger brothers. My parents are farmers. My dad is something of a "renaisance man". He has done a little bit of everything. When it isn't time to farm they currently travel around the US on their Harley Davidson Motorcycle. My parents are conservative and did a good job raising me and my brothers. They always did what they thought was best for us and I will always be thankful for their guidance, even if I didn't always follow it. I was a budding feminist.....I wanted to grow up to be a lawyer, astronaut, doctor and even the president!

I developed a rebellious attitude in my heart during adolescence. Although I was outwardly obedient, I was inwardly disrespectful and hateful toward many people in my life, particularly my parents and brothers. I dated a nice boy throughout high school and I suppose that many thought we would marry, but I resented the fact that he wanted to wait until I was through with college. I finally knew what I wanted to do with my a stay-at-home wife and mom and that didn't jive with his idea of a working wife. We parted ways soon after my high-school graduation.

When I was 18 I met the man that I would marry. I moved into his mother's house 3 months before we married (the time between when we met and married was less than 6 months). My dh and I contintued to live with is mother for a while and then finally rented our own house. His idea of our future and mine didn't always coincide. My dh wasn't and still isn't a follower of Christ. He believes but he chooses not to follow Christ and his will for dh's life. I pray for him every day. At our first house we conceived our first son. We felt moved to go back closer to home so we moved when I was 6 months pregnant. For a while after Leland was born I stayed at home with him and enjoyed it, but felt satan's pull to be something more. I returned to college to get a degree in History. Dh lost his job so we moved again....into a trailer near my parents. I had a miscarriage about 6 months later. I was devasted. I got a job as a legal secretary and then conceived our second son. I worked all through that pregnancy while my mom and others cared for Leland. I was a wandering soul....searching for what I needed in my life. I had been baptized when I was 14 but had fell away from Christ. I had begun attending church again after Leland was born but still hadn't developed a personal relationship with Him. That began to change as I searched the internet for something.....I don't think I knew what I was looking for....but I began researching homeschooling and was led to other sites that embraced biblical womanhood. Finally a breath of fresh air!!!! After Gregory was born I didn't go back to work. I decided that no matter what our circumstances that I would stay home with my sons. My dh agreed that this was acceptable and even approved my homeschooling for a year! Praise God!!!!

We continued on in this changes as you go.....we bought a new manufactured home in 2003. We are still homeschooling. In 2005 the boys began taking taekwondo lessons. Within a year, dh and I were also taking classes. Both boys are now black belts and dh should be by the end of the year.

During these past few years I have done some "flip-flopping" in my walk with Christ. I tend to wear dresses only for a few months and then decide that I am being legalistic so I quit. I have since decided that I wear dresses because I want to honor God by being he made me. I love to wear dresses and am a real "girly-girl" so this works good for me. I struggle with teaching my boys everything that I feel that I should. I struggle in my daily walk with God. I am inspired by other homemakers that I know and the ones that I have "met" on the internet. God teaches me and leads me more every day.

All during these years we have been confronted with secondary infertility. I was diagnosed with PCOS in Oct. 2006 and we pursued fertility treatments shortly thereafter. We were very blessed to conceived our third earthly child in February of 2007. Norman Matthew was born on Oct. 30th 2007. We are truly blessed indeed!

My walk with God has its ups and downs almost on a daily basis. I am discouraged some days and don't know how I will have the strength to continue. Other days I am encouraged and blessed to know that what I am doing will have an impact on those around me. Every day has new struggles and challenges that I know God is using to grow me closer to him. I want others to know that I DON'T have everything all together. I am striving to be closer to God just like everyone else.

My worst struggles appear to be with scheduling and housework duties. I wasn't trained properly in the management of the home. I knew how to do cleaning and such but I didn't know how or why certain things were done that are intregal in the running of a home. I am learning as I go. God is faithful to teach me.

I enjoy many hobbies in my spare time. I love to knit (especially socks). I sew, garden, scrapbook and love a good mystery. I also love to sing. I try to be frugal in the money that dh's entusts me with. We are striving to be debt-free. I wear dresses and skirts because I love to. I sometimes wish that I had been born 150 years ago. Times and circumstances were more difficult but women knew how to be women and they knew what God wanted them to do. If I travel back in time I would take my washing maching with me :)

I hope that you have enjoyed this little glimpse of my life. I am a woman seeking God.....hear me roar!