Saturday, January 19, 2008


I have encountered many women lately who I believe are in rebellion toward their husbands. This makes me so sad, as I was that woman 6 years ago. The difference in my life and in my marriage today is so remarkable that I want to shout it from the rooftops. However, I am frequently met with criticism and doubt. Many women don't want to believe that following their husband will help to make him a better husband. But DOES!

Seven years ago my 2nd son was born. My husband and I barely co-existed together. I despised him.....he had a terrible work ethic and was frequently out of work, refused to help around the house, etc. After the birth of my 2nd son I was fired from work and decided to stay at home with my boys. My husband agreed at least temporarily. He started a new job (the 3rd in 12 months) about 3 month later and had to do 6 weeks of training away from home. Then he was working 3 hours from home and was only able to come home 2 days a week. I had plenty of time to think about our relationship.

At the counsel of several godly women from many different sites I learned about biblical submission. At first I didn't want to believe that God wanted me to submit to my husband. He wasn't even a Christian. He made wrong decisions every day! I just knew that if I left any major decision up to him that we would be in the poor house. What good would that be for our family???? I decided (because, of course, I know better than God!) that I would submit in the small things. Token submission. That way I could feel good about obeying God's command without actually giving up control.

My husband took the little bit of leeway I gave him and ran with it. He became responsible! He started expecting that I follow his lead. Now mind you, he had no idea what I was doing (and as far as I know he still doesn't). He just began taking control of our family. At first, I fought him some and we argued a lot. I felt justified in saying that this submission thing just wasn't working. We didn't fight this much before so why should I put my family in the middle of one constant fight about EVERYTHING??? Finally I got tired of fighting and just let it go. Everything. Almost instantly our marriage improved 110%. And my husband changed some more.

My husband has held that same job all these years. He diligently goes to work and fullfills all his responsibilities there. He became a better father. He takes pride in spending time with his family rather than out with the "guys". His whole outlook on life has changed. Is he perfect? Absolutely not, but then again, neither am I. Every once in a while I feel the old me rise up and want to fight about something (usually trivial) just to get my way. God is gracious in letting me take one day at a time.

Many women I meet assure me that they should be allowed to make decisions in their marriage just as much as their husbands are. I agree. I voice my opinion (and most the time my husband asks for it) on almost everything of importance. I make many decisions in areas that my husband doesn't want to deal with. He has delegated that responsibility to me. If I have questions about anything, I take it to him and he has the final say in the matter.

I hope and pray that my boys see their dad taking the lead in our family and understand that this is the way that God made families to operate. Our family has been so blessed because I took the first very difficult step and submitted....wholeheatedly!

The most important part of a wife's biblical submission is her attitude. If you begrudgingly submit, then you might as well not. Submission needs to be done with a meek spirit, a smile on your face and joy in your heart. I ask God every day to give me that joy and if I feel that I am missing it then that is a prime indicator of my need to spend more time with Him.

I pray that you will also seek God's word and consider submitting to your husband. Submitting to God's will for your life will always lead to bountiful blessings!

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