Thursday, August 20, 2015

I Removed Facebook From My Phone - Day 1

This would fall under the "keeping it real" blog post label (If there was one).

Anyway, if you follow me on facebook you know that I TRY really, really hard to do 2 things there.
1. don't complain
2. keep it real
It's very hard to express difficulties that you face without complaining.  We don't ever want people to feel sorry for us, we aren't throwing a pity party. So overall, we trying to mentally evaluate what we post on facebook....therefore, people tend to think that our life is all sunshine and flowers.  ***Note: life and your attitude towards it are what you choose to make of can find things to be grateful for in the middle of the most trying times, or you can wallow in your pity party.  Your choice.***

Our life is not all sunshine and flowers.  If you are very close to us (I would say I have maybe 2 girlfriends that are close enough, my mom and most of our church family) you know what struggles we are facing.  That's generally because these are people who want to be involved in our lives.  They send messages throughout the day asking how I am, send cards, stop their busy lives to chat.  We share trials and concerns and joys.  That's what friends and family do.  I've heard that some people have lots of these types of people around....I'm glad that is the case for you, but we just have a very special few.  We are very, very grateful for those people.  I doubt that they will every know how grateful we are.

Moving on, drama invaded our facebook lives this past week.  I'm not getting into it here.  I'm told that the situation has been resolved (and by resolved, I mean blame has been placed) so we are letting it go.  My very wise older children have admonished me to quit getting into other people's drama.  And you know what, they are right (please don't tell them).  It isn't my job to straighten people out.  They have their own lives to live and mistakes to make, just like me.  I might think that saving them from themselves is helping but it doesn't. We all have to learn somehow.  I never realized how much time I had spent on facebook "encouraging" people who were complaining.  It was a realization when someone pointed out that they weren't posting because they really wanted advice, or assistance....they were posting because they wanted people to feel sorry for them.

In the middle of this drama this week I realized that my blood pressure was high, I was drinking way too much coffee, checking facebook way too often (had to see if we were being trashed again) and not getting a thing done.

We have lives too.  I am helping organize our community soccer team (paperwork, phone calls, meetings, emails, facebook posts, schedules), I am coaching 2 teams and helping with a 3rd.  Our 2nd oldest son plays high school soccer so we have that schedule to try and work around (it's not working, I'm going to miss several of his games), my husband is working lots of overtime because we are buying a house (and we can either work and save for that or wait on the money fairy to bring us some cash) and he is dealing with issues at work.  Son #1 is starting college and entering the workforce full time, Son #2  had an accident this summer that required surgery and after-treatment, my great-aunt passed away, Bear and Abby need educated.  And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Am I complaining?  No.

Life brings bumps in the road and you deal with them.  If you are very lucky, you deal with them with a support system around you.  People who understand that you are dealing with a lot and deserve the grace extended that they expect you to extend to them.  We have been very fortunate to learn who our real "peeps" are.  And if you are reading this, you know who you are and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

With that said, facebook doesn't promote that kind of community.  It promotes complaining and drama and snippets of life involvement.  You see, I believed that I needed facebook for adult interaction.  I learned that you probably aren't going to find adult interaction on facebook.  You find that in real life.  With real people who know your struggles and share theirs with you.

I mentioned to someone yesterday that we are an island unto ourselves and I still feel that is true.  My little family of 6 takes care of itself.  We are very blessed to have other islands build bridges toward us and let us build bridges towards them.  That's what true relationships are about.

So I've removed facebook from my phone.  I will still check it occasionally as I like to see pictures of family far away.  I was worried I would "miss" something, but in reality, if they want to be part of our lives they will text or call or shoot me a message (because our current house has no cell signal).  I know I text the people that I love occasionally and others can to.  I'm going to focus on my real relationships rather than the facebook ones.

Love ya!

1 comment:

Victoria Stankus said...

I support your decision to remove FB from your phone. I have cut back on my time on it as well. Thanks for the encouragement.