My heart broke the day I heard my oldest son saying something snide and sarcastic to his brother. What have I done, I thought. Then I felt God prompting me to do something about it.
When God tells you do something it really is best to listen. I am here to tell you that the road is not easy and you are going to learn some very nasty things about yourself. You will be confessing sins you didn't previously know that you had and you will be dealing with the sins of others in a way that you aren't accustomed to.
My first reaction, when hearing Lee's comment, was to be snide and snippy back. That's how this works, right? No. So I am (STILL) trying to retrain my brain/mouth combination to work in a different way. I have to think - and sometimes pray - before I open my mouth ALWAYS. Because sarcasm had become so ingrained in my psyche, I was frequently saying things without realizing it. Pray before speaking. Always.
Let me tell you, this is NOT easy. Years of wrong behaviour are very hard to break and there aren't any 12 step programs for this one. Asking for forgiveness is an ongoing thing......every single time I mess up, I have to go before my children/husband and confess that I was wrong. Ask forgiveness. They have been generous in giving it to me.
I started praying about this last fall. I wish I could say that I am cured, but alas, there are some days that I think I haven't made any progress at all. But God is working on me. The days that are good, I know I have been filled with the Holy Spirit. The days that went badly,I know I needed to be closer to God.
It's a journey. Now that I have decided to share, I hope that others will join me and we will support each other. Tomorrow I hope to be able to share scriptures that have helped me break the cycle of hateful, unloving speech.