Tuesday, November 04, 2014

The Curse of Facebook

I had every intention of entitling this post "How Facebook was Killing My Soul".  But that was last week and other stuff (somewhat related) has happened and I don't have time to break this down into 45 blog posts so, here ya go.

So, over the years I have had a sneaking suspicion that I spent too much time on facebook.  It wasn't really a suspicion as it was a conviction (which is much more important in the light of eternity!).  I ignored it, justified my facebook addiction (my personal favorite is my lack of adult interaction without it), and just continued on my merry little way.

And it was merry.

For a while.

Then jealousy creeped in.....anger.....bitterness....a judgmental attitude.....envy.....spite.....

It wasn't pretty....and it was killing my soul.

That anger towards someone who "slighted" me (or did something I deemed stupid - whether it was my business or not) ended up being foisted on my poor unsuspecting family.

I would see someone go on a date, a vacation, buy a new car, new house, move to a new "exciting" place.....and I would get jealous and bitter.....

Even though I live in a perfectly fine (albeit cold in the winter) house, on a lovely piece of property (that we don't own but our landlord is WONDERFUL!), and drive nice, used, paid for vehicles....I would be jealous.  I would covet.  And then I would be angry that I couldn't do that, or have that.

Pretty ugly, huh?

I think so too.  I spent one whole day weeping in despair over what I had become.  A horrible, ugly sinful person.

Facebook didn't make me that way but it enabled those sins to creep in, grab a hold of me, and significantly alter my personality and emotions.  It was bad.

So, after significant prayer and guidance from God I have made some fairly drastic changes to my facebook account.  You may notice, or not.  IT IS NOTHING PERSONAL.  This is all about me.  I am still posting on facebook some.  We have family that isn't nearby and it is a convenient way to keep in touch with them and share pictures, etc.  I finally decided that as long as what I post isn't angry or judgemental then it was up to the reader to do what they wanted with it.  I'm am still reading on facebook some.  Not much, but some.

I can't begin to tell you what a difference this has made in my life!  I am reading my bible with a goal of understanding, having long prayer chats with God, sewing, knitting, cleaning and blogging again.  I've started reading Anne of Green Gables and I'm watching Downton Abbey and Doctor Who and Sherlock.  I'm snuggled up in bed with the kids reading Mr. Popper's Penguins or having "life talks" with my teenagers.  I'm living a life, a real life....not one created on a hand-held device.

My attitude has changed as well.  I'm thankful for the gifts that we have been given.  I'm trying to see both sides of the coin - and regardless, not passing judgement.  I'm making purposeful connections with friends....real life connections....not over a screen.

Does this mean that I'm completely free from those sins?  No.  Unfortunately, Satan is always there, trying to distract and pull me away from what is best for me and my family.  I am grateful that God finally got through to me about this though.  I'm glad to have my life back.

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