Melancholy

Melancholy is such a loaded word.......sometimes brought on by lingering sadness or anxiety.  Sometimes a pessimistic way of looking at things......

Just a few minutes ago Bear told me "I'm having a bad day".  LOL  How exactly does a 3 year old have a bad day?  I wanted to coursely remind him of all the fun we have had today; dyeing Easter eggs, hunting them with the brothers, playing video games with the brothers, going to town and getting a sprite with me......its not like he spent the day with his nose in a corner.  Its not like he has had to deal with arguing children, worrying that the house will never sell, dwell on dreams that might never be fullfilled, fuss about all the things that need to be done before Sunrise Service tomorrow, bemoan the fact that the living room looks like a tornado hit it (after ALL the work I did to get it ready to show this week).........oh, wait, that's me.  Maybe I am the one having a bad day.  Maybe I am feeling sorry for myself.

I was reading blogs earlier in an attempt for forget that the living room looked like a disaster area.......several of the blogs I read are of parents of terminally ill children.  I try to keep up with the prayer requests of the parents, the ups and downs of their children..........so, I'm reading about one family.  The father has been out of a job for about a year, their 7 year old daughter has been in ICU care for almost a year, the mother stays at the hospital with daughter almost 2 hrs. from their home, the 3 yr old son has speech regression and is being evaluated for autism......

What exactly do I have to be sad about?  My husband has a good job that provides well for us.  Yes, his commute is long and expensive nowadays, but we are getting by.  Yes, we can't afford the "extras" that we did a year ago because grocery and gas increases are taking all the extra from the budget.  BUT we can pay our bills on time and have food on the table.  I get to see all 4 of my children and my husband every single day.  My children are all the picture of perfect health (low-grade fevers and lingering coughs included).  Yes, they fight, but at least they are together.  No, we are not in the "perfect" housing situation here.  Yes, I wish desperately that we could move.  BUT we have a roof over our heads and more space than some people.  We can easily afford our housing payments and aren't "underwater" on our home.  Yes, my children can mess up a clean room faster than I can sneeze but they are healthy and extremely blessed with toys and other oddities to play with.

I realize that I have been throwing myself a massive pity party.  Again.  I have a tendency to do that when things aren't going my way.  Who cares if things are going my way?  Life is life and I have to roll with the punches.  Nobody's life is perfect and expecting it to be is just setting myself up for failure.

So, beginning today, things are going to change.  I have been incredibly blessed by a wonderful, merciful, kind and patient God.....who sent His Son to die for my sinful self.  What a wonderful gift that I never deserved.