Finding My Place in History

I'm a historian.  Looking at the big picture in light of past events is something I do...sometimes unconsciously.  I like to fit together the pieces of the puzzle, compare past events and their consequences with things that are happening or seem to be happening now.  I enjoy teasing out the way history has been "revised" to fit present "correctness".

Once upon a time I thought I might enjoy a future in politics.  Historically, many of our founding fathers dealt in politics, although I'm sure nothing like the current mess we have.  I wanted to be out there MAKING history.  I didn't just want to read about it....I wanted to DO it.

Somewhere along the way, I discovered, correctly, that I wouldn't be cut out for politics....in any century.  My skin isn't that thick, I don't think that quickly and I doubt I could shoulder the burdens of the world for one minute let alone for the duration of a career.

That's probably just as well that I discovered this early....like in 8th grade.  lol  Anyway, as a young adult, a young mother, I discovered my favorite part of history.....learning about the lives of those who have gone before us.  That is true history.  The day to day stuff that shapes the lives of children, families and communities.  THAT is what will eventually trickle down and create history.  The lives and actions of ordinary people make a big difference in the scheme of things, even when their names and lives are forgotten.  I think that is why it is most important that we keep a journal, whether online or on paper (I do both).  I find those things fascinating and I'm sure others do.

In our world today we are fighting a war in Iraq and Afghanistan.  The big debate is whether Bowe Bergdahl was a deserter, taliban sympathizer or genuine prisoner of war (I'm sure his mother is glad he is home but was the price too high?).  And what in the heck is his father spouting off about??  Who knows, right?  Unemployment is through the roof (and touches the lives of those I know), drug use is running rampant and the state of IL is going down the drain (rapidly).

Let's face it....what can I do about any of that?  Really?  In the course of historical events relating to these headline items, you will not find my name.  You won't find the name of anyone that I know personally.

And that's ok.

That took me a long time as an adult to realize.

It's the little things, the mundane things, that matter.  They really do.

If I don't feed our cows, they will die.  The same with the piglets and chickens.  If I don't care for them daily in feeding, watering and general maintenance then they will die.  If they die we are out food for the next year and a fairly large chunk of money.    I school my children daily so that they will grow into hardworking, dependable, loving, generous and kind adults that make an impact in their family; their community.  I shop (care for my family, supporting my community businesses) and visit and take part in community activities.  I volunteer.  I read.  I knit.  I try to expand my understanding of the world around me.  Not because I can single-handedly change it, but because God made this wonderful, beautiful world and I want to know what's out there.  Why shouldn't I?  

I want to be able to help my neighbors and friends.  I want to love unconditionally.  I want to impact my little world.  I CAN do that.

Washing dishes might not seem like much but if they aren't clean, chaos reigns supreme.  If chaos reigns, then how will my children understand the peace of order?  If clothes aren't clean, will my husband be able to go about his duties with a full focus on the work in front of him?  If meals aren't healthy, how will our bodies get the nourishment they need to grow and function properly?  If we don't expand our minds, how will we know what could be?

Mothers, fathers, don't get stuck in thinking that life is mundane nothingness and then you die!  It is the little things that count!  One more story, clean laundry, home-cooked meals, snuggling in bed, driving to practice, homework.......we are impacting the lives of our children and those we encounter every single day!  Let's put a smile on our faces and embrace our places in history.  My place is as a wife, mother, gardener, animal caretaker, dog and cat owner, baker, knitter, seamstress, learner, explorer.......and I plan to leave a written (typed) legacy of all those wonderful things for those that come behind me.  How about you?  What is your legacy?  Have you embraced your place in history?

Be the Hands and Feet

"Momma!  I NEED you!!!!!"

Those are words I hear from Miss Abby daily, sometimes multiple times a day. 

"What do you need Abby?"

"Momma!  I need YOU!"

What she means is she needs her "love tank" filled up (a term we used with Bear when he was her age).  She needed to snuggle, hug, kiss and be reminded that someone here loved her.  It takes less than 10 minutes and then she is a happy little girl again.

Sometimes, like today, my love tank runs low.  Norman has been working 16 hour days.  In the end, it works out really well for our family because he gets more days off a week, but for those days he is gone, I'm it.  Sure, I've got teenagers.  But they are usually too busy trying to kill each other to have a coherent conversation with good-ole-mom.  Bear and Abby love to talk and tell me all about their adventures and the things they saw on TV and the birds outside.  As long as I am HERE their world is all good and they can live their lives, you know, like little kids do.

A 2 year old and a 5 year old aren't supposed to be concerned with their mother's mental and emotional health (and believe me, they aren't lol).  Honestly, there isn't anything really wrong with my mental or emotional health.  Not anything that doesn't happen to every mother out there, possibly daily.

I'm lonely.

I miss adult interaction.  I don't always want someone to NEED me (I know I will miss that but we are talking about NOW).  I would love to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee and a few chapters of my current read without 15 interruptions.  I KNOW these days are short and I should enjoy them and all that, I got the memo.  Believe me, I know.  I've got teenagers, remember?

I imagine that I'm not alone.  So, I've been trying to think of ways that I can recognize these "symptoms" in other moms and be a Jesus hug to them.  Jesus is LOVE, but WE are His hands and feet here on earth. 

Look around at your circle of friends, your neighbors, the new people at church.  Let's think of ways that you (and I) can be an encouragement to them. 
*send a random "glad you are my friend" or "thinking of you" card (or text/email if you are out of cards)
*plan that playdate  -----  I know that I almost never get out of this house without at least 1 child so friendly coffee get-togethers don't work for me.  Playdates do :)  Your friend won't care if your home is a mess.  She will just appreciate that you took the time to connect with her.
*make the phone call --- I am the worst about this.  I hate talking on the phone.  There is always someone here wanting something or bothering me and I always worry that I'm bothering the person I called, but sometimes a call can be such a bright spot in my day!
*be a blessing  ---- Do you have a hobby, skill set or talent that could bless someone in your life?  Use it!  God gave it to you for a reason!!!

I guess the most important thing is to CONNECT with the people around you.  I know that without my 2 besties I would be lost! 

It is February, so it is "Random Acts of Kindness" month.  Don't forget to connect with those around you....a smile, a kind word, the littles things add up to a hug, they really do make a difference!

Breaking the Pattern of Verbal Abuse

My heart broke the day I heard my oldest son saying something snide and sarcastic to his brother.  What have I done, I thought.  Then I felt God prompting me to do something about it.

When God tells you do something it really is best to listen.  I am here to tell you that the road is not easy and you are going to learn some very nasty things about yourself.  You will be confessing sins you didn't previously know that you had and you will be dealing with the sins of others in a way that you aren't accustomed to.

My first reaction, when hearing Lee's comment, was to be snide and snippy back.  That's how this works, right?  No.  So I am (STILL) trying to retrain my brain/mouth combination to work in a different way.  I have to think - and sometimes pray - before I open my mouth ALWAYS.  Because sarcasm had become so ingrained in my psyche, I was frequently saying things without realizing it.  Pray before speaking.  Always. 

Let me tell you, this is NOT easy.  Years of wrong behaviour are very hard to break and there aren't any 12 step programs for this one.  Asking for forgiveness is an ongoing thing......every single time I mess up, I have to go before my children/husband and confess that I was wrong.  Ask forgiveness.  They have been generous in giving it to me. 

I started praying about this last fall.  I wish I could say that I am cured, but alas, there are some days that I think I haven't made any progress at all.  But God is working on me.  The days that are good, I know I have been filled with the Holy Spirit.  The days that went badly,I know I needed to be closer to God.

It's a journey.  Now that I have decided to share, I hope that others will join me and we will support each other.  Tomorrow I hope to be able to share scriptures that have helped me break the cycle of hateful, unloving speech.

True Treasures: 10 Years of TEACH Magazine

As most of you know, I've been in a dark place lately.  A couple of weeks ago, my wonderful husband recognized that I needed a break and sent me to town with some "mad" money to hang out by myself.  I grabbed a book before I left......True Treasures:  10 Years of TEACH Magazine by Lorrie Flem.  Once in town, I went straight to Starbucks, ordered a large Caramel Macchiato and sank down in a huge armchair with my book.  I only made it 2 pages before tears were flowing down my cheeks. 

Homemakers know that staying home all day is hard work.  I realize that the rest of the world believes that we are all sitting around eating chocolate and watching soap operas (I do eat chocolate, but not all day.  I do not watch soap operas, wouldn't even if I did have time).  Each day I am mom, wife, cleaning lady, teacher, pretend doctor, bottle holder, diaper changer, remote control wielder, laundry washer/dryer/folder/putter-awayer, train track builder.....the list goes on and on.  While doing all those things, I am giving advice, prayfully answering questions, kissing real booboos and giving pieces of my heart to everyone I meet.  So much goes out of me every day.....it is like "the force" is leaving my body.  God's love is the force and I am thankful that I am here to administer His grace, mercy and love to those around me....but sometimes I get empty.  Sometimes I get so dry that I can't soak up God's word on my own.  I need a human touch.  Frequently, TEACH magazine and Lorrie Flem have been that human touch.  Lorrie and those that share with her, use real life experience and God's words to encourage and lead those of us who are seeking back to godly womanhood.

True Treasures is the BEST of the first 10 years of TEACH magazine.  The articles are laid out on 2 page spreads; short little tidbits to help even the busiest of wife/mother.  She has divided the articles into sections so that you can quickly find the encouragement you are looking for.  Parenting, marriage, mothering, homemaking and serving others are all addressed.  I honestly believe that it would be impossible to come away from this book without having received encouragement.

True Treasures is available for $19.97 at http://www.homemakingwithteach.com/ .  While you are there, check out the other wonderful resources that Lorrie offers.  Also, please note that TEACH Magazine is changing names.  It is the same wonderful resource, with a more fitting name I believe.......Eternal Encouragement Magazine.  Use coupon code GabbyMoms to get $4 off True Treasures :)

If you want to read what others think about this wonderful publication, feel free to check out The Gabby Moms to see other reviews written by homemakers just like you!

***Disclaimer: I received this product for honest review from TEACH magazine as part of The Gabby Moms blogging program.  All opinions expressed are solely my own.