September 11

I wasn't going to post about Sept. 11, 2001. I just wasn't going to. It isn't that I want to forget, it is just that I live with the panic and anxiety everyday....I don't generally go out of my way to rehash it. But other bloggers have been encouraging everyone to remember where they were and what they were doing on Sept. 11. So here is our story.

On Sept. 11, 2001 we were at a Day's Inn motel in Metropolis IL. The funeral of my dh's grandmother had been the day before. I got up and switched on CNN (after 9/11 I started watching Fox News) and there was smoke rolling from the first tower. It had just been hit and nobody on the news knew what was going on. Lee woke up also (he was 4) and I remember saying to him "look Lee, some idiot flew a plan in to the World Trade Center, you would think that they could miss that!". We were watching when the second tower was hit. I can't begin to describe the panic that I felt. I was so upset as I woke up Norman. He probably initially thought the hotel building was on fire. Imagine his attitude when he found our that he was awake so that he could watch the news! But quickly his irritation dawned into understanding of the seriousness of what was going on. He woke up his mom and step-dad in the next room and urged them to watch. They left almost immediately.
We watched the pentagon get hit. And wondered how many more plans there were. We watched the towers fall. I was so upset I was sick.....just sitting on the bed and bawling. Then I remembered.....my uncle is a pilot for United Airlines. So the phone calls to my parents began.....they weren't home. Panic turned to terror. Norman walked down to the lobby to get some doughnuts and was told that the Allied Chemical Plant in the area was shut down due to security threats. That was the final straw......we had to go HOME....NOW. I don't think that I have ever showered and dressed and packed so fast in my life. I wanted out of that place and back to the safety of my home and family.....about 3 hours away. We checked out and met up with my sil and got the kids some lunch from McDonald's. And hit the interstate. There was a lot of traffic. We stopped for gas around Rend Lake. It never occurred to us that the prices were raised and thankfully they weren't there. When we arrived back in Effingham though all kinds of problems awaited us. Gas prices had been inflated all over the area...by several dollars. Walmart was the only place that had the same price up and the lines there were snaking all over the parking lot. Thankfully we didn't need gas and hurried home........safe in the country. I got a hold of my parents and found out that my uncle wasn't flying that day. All of my family was safe.

I watched the news for weeks....all day long. It was my constant companion. Finally someone told my dh that the news was probably the cause of all my anxiety....I just couldn't get past my fear. And I think that they were right, when we quit watching the news I was able to control my fear and give it to God.

The repercussions are still here in my family. Sept 11 was my first panic attack. They are frequent companions now. I still watch the news, even for just a few minutes, every single morning. If there is news of a plane crash, I am glued to the TV. Fox News Alerts make my heart jump. And I cry when I watch the specials on TV....but I watch them, over and over.....because I can't forget. I talk to my children often about what happened. Lee doesn't remember that day anymore. Sometimes he will say that he does, but I know that he doesn't. Greg was just a baby. I don't want them to forget either. Nothing will ever be the same again.

I would love to read your 9/11 story. Please post in the comments section a link to your blog. Be Not Conformed has a wonderful 9/11 post and links to othes if you are interested.