My oldest son starts high school in about 5 hours. I hope he is getting some sleep. For some reason, Bear and I aren't. So here I am.......I've spent the last hour or so working through some of this stuff in my head and decided it was time to put fingers to the keyboard, so to speak. Apparently, these are things I needed to work through.......
I graduated 8th grade in May 1991. I had mixed emotions. I remember being so excited about another step toward adulthood and terrified of moving into a new school with lots of new people. I was NOT a social butterfly.
Anyway, the summer started off ok I suppose. There was the 8th grade graduation and dance. That was fun......and a few graduation parties that classmates threw......
I turned 14 midway through June. Nothing special there.....I don't even remember my birthday which means I probably spent it in a field somewhere. That was pretty typical. Anyway, my maternal grandmother was sick. Really sick. She had been diagnosed with colon/liver cancer the summer before and although she managed to come to my graduation, things went downhill quickly after that. We spent a lot of time at their house in Newton. I remember hospital beds and not being allowed in the living room.......my aunt's new husband.....playing cards with my maternal grandpa. My Grandma Diel (Mary Diel) passed away early morning of July 4th.
My brothers and I had spent the night at my paternal grandparents home the night before and when we woke up that morning my parents where there. Grandma and Grandpa Pickens were great, we stayed with them that morning while my parents got some rest and they took us to the Dieterich 4th of July parade. That night my parents took us to the fair.
I think that we went on vacation later that summer. Not very far away, as my Grandpa Diel had alzheimers, aggrevated by the loss of his wife. My mom called every night to check on him but a few times he wouldn't accept her collect phone call. I didn't understand alzheimers. I tried, but until then I hadn't ever heard of such a thing and I didn't understand why my grandpa didn't know me. I remember begging my mom not to make me go to high school. I loved learning, I hated social situations. I was terrified. She made me go anyway.
It was a miracle I made it through that first day without a nervous breakdown. I got lost twice. Ended up in the wrong classroom (sitting there waiting for class to start) once. Thankfully my cousin saw me and sent me in the right direction. I didn't cry. I don't know how I managed that, but I didn't.
I tried to join some clubs. I spent some evenings sitting on my Grandpa's back step because the club function had gotten over early, mom wasn't there to meet me, and Grandpa wouldn't let me in because he didn't know who I was. The boy I had "puppy loved" for 2 years asked me out and then dumped me 2 weeks later because I wouldn't make out with him after school. Less than a month later one of my best friends killed herself.
Fourteen year olds shouldn't have to go to the funerals of friends. And they shouldn't have to go alone. Sure, I had friends there, but my parents weren't.....it was harvest season, you see. I was so blessed by the support of the mother of another friend. I cannot descibe the pain that one feels after a loss like that. I wasn't alone in my pain, so many of my friends were hurting as well, but I felt alone. In less than 3 months I had lost a grandmother, best friend and essentially my grandfather as well. I was barely coping in an educational setting that I wasn't really equiped to handle. I had my heart broken (and the ex was spreading nasty rumors about my moral character). Go me.
I managed to persevere. Now, I wonder how I didn't have an emotional breakdown.
At a band competition the next month I, along with other members of the band, was taken to the ER for frostbite. My parents were not there and my father had to give permission for them to treat over the phone. I was fine, but the trip home was agony. I knew what was waiting. It wasn't the worst tongue lashing that I had ever gotten, but it probably lasted the longest. For several years afterwards it was thrown in my face as me wasting family resources and making bad decisions. Go me.
Holidays that year sucked. One of them was at our home. Just my family and my Grandpa Diel (who was rapidly declining). For some reason, during the dinner preparations, my mother felt the need to get into a huge phone conversation with her sister, in her bedroom. I get that it was probably a hard year for both of them, having lost their mother. However, I was left with dealing with a huge meal. Alone. My Grandpa came in and starting fiddling with things while I was trying to take something out of the oven and I couldn't get him to safely stay out of the way. And I got a little grouchy. My father went ballistic. I understand now that my poor Grandpa had no idea about the safety of the oven in that situation. I know now that he wasn't in his right mind and he didn't mean to be in my way. I was just trying to do the best I could in yet another extremely stressful situation. My father, reading the newspaper in the living room, made sure to let me know how I had failed. Again.
I am sitting here tonight wondering why in the world I was even in that kitchen. I think now that I should have just went to my room, or outside. Let someone else step up to the plate and deal with it. But I didn't. People pleaser all the way, I took responsibility for everything. I always felt/feel like I have to carry the burdens of the world. Lord knows I was carrying a lot of them that fall/winter.
Things did get better in high school. I learned the ropes, made friends, started dating a nice guy. All of my high school years weren't miserable. But when I think of high school, those first 6 months are the ones I remember. The feelings of fear and sadness rear their ugly heads every single time.
I've been praying all night. Praying that my oldest (all of my children in fact) will have a good day tomorrow. A little stress and a lot of fun. I pray that his high school "career" will be shaped by fun, laughter and freedom.
Twenty years later (how could it have been that long ago????) I can see that so many things were out of my control. I couldn't control death, my parents, the weather, other students........I think that considering I did pretty well. But the tears are falling afresh again.....just like they did then. I cry for my friend, my grandma and grandpa.......I cry for my naive freshman self and the little girl that just wanted to be protected by someone........I cry for the girl that grew up really fast that fall and learned a lot of hard lessons the hard way........and I cry for the scars that were left behind. BUT I smile for the woman that grew out of those lessons and scars. They have helped shape me into me. Those scars give me the patience to go over that schedule 1 more time with my son, giving him advice about quickest routes to classes. I know to watch for depression. I rarely send my children into difficult situations alone. I love, love and love some more. And sometimes I learn to let go.
Its 3:45 a.m. and I am sitting here watching Bear, my 3 year old sleep. I just want to go around and hug all my babies; big and small. So many things I can't protect them from. So I pray.
Lord, please guide and protect my children today. Give them courage rather than fear. Help me help them. Thank you for each minute that I have with them. Amen.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Weariness
I've been feeling weary lately. At first, I thought it was the heat but the last week or so has been very mild for August. Then I tried to blame it on the lack of sleep (Abigail still wakes up at least once a night, and lately it has been 2 or 3 times). I followed that by using all of our stress as an excuse. Really, I just need to let some stuff go.
So, I'm letting go of my fear of the reactions of others.
I'm letting go of the expectations of others.
I'm refusing to be anxious about our future.
I'm not placing myself or my family on a timeline anymore.
I'm going to take each moment, each task, each event as its own thing, trying very, very hard not to look forward to the next thing. Enjoy each moment!
That is a BIG list for me. I'm going to work on it.
Anyway, all is well here. We've been busy the last few days. I think we have had a good summer. We didn't have the funds for a vacation but we have spent a lot of time together and with friends. Just today we spent a few hours at a "fiesta" sponsored by a local church......food, games, prizes. The kids had a blast and I enjoyed myself, letting go of the long list of things I should be home doing. A relief. We all came home tired but happy.
Julie asked how Sadie was doing. She is ok. She was due for a haircut when she was attacked so her hair is longer than normal. I feel some scabbed spots still but she doesn't flinch when you touch them so I am going to leave them alone and try to schedule a hair appt for her in a couple of weeks. I imagine we will be able to see the marks of the attack then. She's even willing to go outside alone again so that is good. We are so thankful that she wasn't injured more severely.
Well, I'm going to get off the couch and finish up the laundry and mop the kitchen floor. Then my tasks for the day will be complete. I hope that all of you have a wonderful weekend!
So, I'm letting go of my fear of the reactions of others.
I'm letting go of the expectations of others.
I'm refusing to be anxious about our future.
I'm not placing myself or my family on a timeline anymore.
I'm going to take each moment, each task, each event as its own thing, trying very, very hard not to look forward to the next thing. Enjoy each moment!
That is a BIG list for me. I'm going to work on it.
Anyway, all is well here. We've been busy the last few days. I think we have had a good summer. We didn't have the funds for a vacation but we have spent a lot of time together and with friends. Just today we spent a few hours at a "fiesta" sponsored by a local church......food, games, prizes. The kids had a blast and I enjoyed myself, letting go of the long list of things I should be home doing. A relief. We all came home tired but happy.
Julie asked how Sadie was doing. She is ok. She was due for a haircut when she was attacked so her hair is longer than normal. I feel some scabbed spots still but she doesn't flinch when you touch them so I am going to leave them alone and try to schedule a hair appt for her in a couple of weeks. I imagine we will be able to see the marks of the attack then. She's even willing to go outside alone again so that is good. We are so thankful that she wasn't injured more severely.
Well, I'm going to get off the couch and finish up the laundry and mop the kitchen floor. Then my tasks for the day will be complete. I hope that all of you have a wonderful weekend!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The 5 R's Bundle - Part 2
Last month I talked to you about Lorrie Flem's bundle - Godly Womanhood: The 5 R's for Homeschool Moms. Last month I detailed the 1st 2 topics and this month I am going to focus on the last 3 topics.
As usual, Lorrie touches my heart at just the right time. In fact, I have decided that I will be printing out all 5 ebooks and putting them in a binder for safe keeping. The topics are so encouraging, timely and necessary for a godly woman.
Refine: From Homekeeping 101 to Graduating with Honors leads us through the day-to-day of being a manager of our homes. We are managers aren't we? I like that.....a manager.....that sounds good :) Lorrie leads us through 7 homekeeping teachings:
1. Plan to Manage
2. Plan to Improve
3. Plan to Start Strong
4. Plan to Do It First
5. Plan to Bless Others
6. Plan to Feed
7. Plan to Clean
As always, Lorrie keeps it real and gives real-life guidance on managing our homes. Spending time with God, Before Breakfast Jobs and clearing clutter are all topics she touches on before bringing it around to my ATTITUDE. We've talked about that before and it is a work in progress. Thanks Lorrie!
Rejuvenate: What to Do When Abel is Raising Cain details the topic of child-raising. Consistency is the key! Lorrie talks about how the Bible discusses discipline. I think I am going to start a study about that.......
Never leaving us alone, Lorrie gives real-life examples about how she handles discipline problems in her home.
Rest: Give It Up and Get It All wasn't what I expected. I was "hoping" that Lorrie would give a list of things that she does when she needs some rest, away time, preferably once a week or more. I wanted the validation that what I do deserves a break and could someone please back me up on that?!?!?! I guess not :( Lorrie gives us so much more though. I feel encouraged to rest through serving, arranging my priorities to match God's. I need to lean on God and when I just can't do it anymore, I shouldn't soak in a hot bathtub, I should run to Him and soak Him up....seeking His wonderful wisdom about the things that I am dealing with. I've done that this week and I can honestly say that I feel better than I ever would after an hour at Starbucks. **I LOVE Starbucks though and think it is a fanastic treat to hang out there, but I don't "deserve" such a treat just because . The only thing that can completely restore me is time with God!**
I can't begin to express how much good stuff there was in these 5 topics. I plan to reread these teachings frequently to remind me to keep my focus on God! Check out www.eternalencouragement.com to see The 5 R's Bundle (5 ebooks, 5 mp3 audios starting at $24.97) and other great products that Lorrie has there. If you're not convinced head over and see what the other Gabby Moms have to say too!
****I received this product for free in exchange for an honest review through the Gabby Moms program.***
Friday, August 12, 2011
My Sadie
Sweet Sadie, my black, 20 pound, cocker spaniel, was attacked by the neighbor's dog in our yard Wednesday morning. She was outside "doing her business" when we heard her yelp. A shot in the air scared off the attacker.........we think she will be fine. It is terrifying to see your bestest four-legged buddy bleeding and hurt. I've been helping her onto the couch and our bed. Asprin helps a little.
My sweet Sadie......
We think she's about 8. We got her second-hand, and they had gotten her second-hand, so no idea of her age. When we first got her and had a vet visit they said by her teeth they would say 2 or 3, but by her eyes they would say 5 or 6. Sadie is blind in one eye and hard of hearing. She has severe skin allergies. This past winter I could tell that she was moving much slower than before.
Sadie came to live with us during the midst of our infertility trials. Norman just knew I needed someone to snuggle and Sadie needed a home. It was the perfect fit. Having Sadie gave me something to focus on, someone that needed me. The older boys still needed me of course, but they were beginning to need me a little less than I liked and my yearning for a baby was so strong.....Sadie took the edge off of that feeling.
When Bear was born I worried that she would feel displaced. She had been with us for over 2 years and took the new baby in stride. I was careful to include her in our snuggle times and she was patient as Bear learned to "be nice to the puppy". They would curl up in the recliner and take their afternoon naps together (I have pictures somewhere but can't find them).
Abby's arrival was met with much the same disinterest by Sadie. She's getting older. She's not quite so patient. Frequently she will go hide under a table to get away from the babies playing.
Sadie is afraid of everything. The sight of a gun makes her hide. She runs from strange dogs. And cats. She huddles in fear at the sound of the lawn mower and vaccum cleaner. Sadie wouldn't hurt a flea. I guess that is what makes the whole incident so upsetting for me. This dog came onto our property and hurt my sweet Sadie. There was no food there, not even a empty bowl. I can't imagine anything that would have prompted a German Shepherd to attack a 20 pound aging cocker spaniel.
Norman says she will be ok. I hope so. I can't imagine my life without her.
Hug your puppies tonight. Keep them as safe as you can. And if you come to my house soon, give my sweet Sadie an extra pat or hug....she deserves it.
My sweet Sadie......
We think she's about 8. We got her second-hand, and they had gotten her second-hand, so no idea of her age. When we first got her and had a vet visit they said by her teeth they would say 2 or 3, but by her eyes they would say 5 or 6. Sadie is blind in one eye and hard of hearing. She has severe skin allergies. This past winter I could tell that she was moving much slower than before.
Sadie came to live with us during the midst of our infertility trials. Norman just knew I needed someone to snuggle and Sadie needed a home. It was the perfect fit. Having Sadie gave me something to focus on, someone that needed me. The older boys still needed me of course, but they were beginning to need me a little less than I liked and my yearning for a baby was so strong.....Sadie took the edge off of that feeling.
When Bear was born I worried that she would feel displaced. She had been with us for over 2 years and took the new baby in stride. I was careful to include her in our snuggle times and she was patient as Bear learned to "be nice to the puppy". They would curl up in the recliner and take their afternoon naps together (I have pictures somewhere but can't find them).
Abby's arrival was met with much the same disinterest by Sadie. She's getting older. She's not quite so patient. Frequently she will go hide under a table to get away from the babies playing.
Sadie is afraid of everything. The sight of a gun makes her hide. She runs from strange dogs. And cats. She huddles in fear at the sound of the lawn mower and vaccum cleaner. Sadie wouldn't hurt a flea. I guess that is what makes the whole incident so upsetting for me. This dog came onto our property and hurt my sweet Sadie. There was no food there, not even a empty bowl. I can't imagine anything that would have prompted a German Shepherd to attack a 20 pound aging cocker spaniel.
Norman says she will be ok. I hope so. I can't imagine my life without her.
Hug your puppies tonight. Keep them as safe as you can. And if you come to my house soon, give my sweet Sadie an extra pat or hug....she deserves it.
Since the last time......
Many things have happened since the last time I took a second to update my blog here. Let's see.....
Lee turned 14. I've been a mother for 14 years. I would think by now I would have a handle on it, but alas I feel like he was just born. I LOVE watching him grow into a strong, responsible young man! His father and I are very, very proud of him.
I registered Lee for his freshman year of high school. This wasn't as tramatic as I thought it would be. The high school was exactly how I remembered it. Paid for 1 month of breakfast/lunch, registration and a yearbook - when did a basic yearbook start costing $61? I'm still in shock. But anyway, I think he is excited to start but won't admit it. I wouldn't want to go back, but I suppose everyone should experience it once.....maybe.
Abigail turned 15 months old. It was the same day as Lee's 14th birthday so I didn't even think of it until after. 14 years ago on the 9th I had my oldest, 15 months ago on the 9th I had my youngest. Hmm. She has grown so much. She had strep throat a few weeks ago so I took her in for some meds. When they measure her she had grown 5 inches since May! Amazing, but I can see it. She still doesn't really talk......and her and Bear duke it out a few times every day (she is a hair puller, and doesn't mind when I pull hers). She's a mean little bugger. What can you expect when you have 3 brothers?
Greg is at camp. He will be home tomorrow. We miss him. Especially Bear. Most nights he has been sleeping with Lee, in the living room or with us. We are looking forward to Greg's return. I'm sure he has enjoyed a week of his own bed. LOL
Everything is still a mess here. Prayers appreciated. I'm not going into the details but it feels like it will never end. I've got another post to write, but the babies want to go outside to play....so off we go!
Have a great day!
Lee turned 14. I've been a mother for 14 years. I would think by now I would have a handle on it, but alas I feel like he was just born. I LOVE watching him grow into a strong, responsible young man! His father and I are very, very proud of him.
I registered Lee for his freshman year of high school. This wasn't as tramatic as I thought it would be. The high school was exactly how I remembered it. Paid for 1 month of breakfast/lunch, registration and a yearbook - when did a basic yearbook start costing $61? I'm still in shock. But anyway, I think he is excited to start but won't admit it. I wouldn't want to go back, but I suppose everyone should experience it once.....maybe.
Abigail turned 15 months old. It was the same day as Lee's 14th birthday so I didn't even think of it until after. 14 years ago on the 9th I had my oldest, 15 months ago on the 9th I had my youngest. Hmm. She has grown so much. She had strep throat a few weeks ago so I took her in for some meds. When they measure her she had grown 5 inches since May! Amazing, but I can see it. She still doesn't really talk......and her and Bear duke it out a few times every day (she is a hair puller, and doesn't mind when I pull hers). She's a mean little bugger. What can you expect when you have 3 brothers?
Greg is at camp. He will be home tomorrow. We miss him. Especially Bear. Most nights he has been sleeping with Lee, in the living room or with us. We are looking forward to Greg's return. I'm sure he has enjoyed a week of his own bed. LOL
Everything is still a mess here. Prayers appreciated. I'm not going into the details but it feels like it will never end. I've got another post to write, but the babies want to go outside to play....so off we go!
Have a great day!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Pardon Me.....
This silly blog is driving me nuts.....
After I did the last review it completely messed up my formatting. :( I am posting this in the hopes that it somehow prompts the silly thing to work correctly. Otherwise, I have a problem I don't know how to fix. LOL
(((sigh))) For some reason blogger won't accept the ranking system thing at the bottom of my post. If I put it there, then it eats all my sidebars and won't show any posts after that. So I removed it. However, I really need to have my reviews ranked so that I can receive more books to review. Quite the quandry.
After I did the last review it completely messed up my formatting. :( I am posting this in the hopes that it somehow prompts the silly thing to work correctly. Otherwise, I have a problem I don't know how to fix. LOL
(((sigh))) For some reason blogger won't accept the ranking system thing at the bottom of my post. If I put it there, then it eats all my sidebars and won't show any posts after that. So I removed it. However, I really need to have my reviews ranked so that I can receive more books to review. Quite the quandry.
Where Will You Go From Here?
As one at the beginning of recovery from such a setback, I found Valorie's advice concrete and reassuring. She walks you through the steps of recovery from denial to goal setting. Sharing the stories of others (and her own) that have had to pull up from the ditch, she understands the pain and difficulty that clouds all judgement.
Thought provoking questions are provided in each chapter to guide your thinking. Scripture reminds me who is really in charge :)
I took forever to read this book. Each chapter had so much for me to learn and glean from. I'm getting ready to do a second read through as I get my feet firmly planted on solid ground. I am so thankful to have received Valorie's book for review, as I truly believe it has changed my perspective and given me concrete ways to move forward in my life. This book is available through Amazon with prices starting at $9.96.
***I received this book free for honest review as part of the Blogging for Books program through WaterBrook Press. ***
Speech - Psalm 19:14, Psalm 141:3
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;
Keep watch over the door of my lips.
***This study was mainly for me. I don't want others to think I am pointing fingers. I NEEDED to read this and hear this and know that it was true. I am sharing in the hopes that it will bless others.***
Words are powerful. Not just spoken words, but words written, blogged, twittered and sang. As I consider my words:
Are they always honest? kind? encouraging?
Am I using words to express the love of Jesus to those around me?
Should I practice silence?
Does this HAVE to be said?
What are the consequences if I DO or DON'T speak?
Does love guide my words?
Those are the tough questions that I am contemplating this morning. I can say that I started several years ago to monitor my speech (I'm NOT perfect though!!!!!) so I do have a tendence to think twice before I speak. I also have written many letters this year, only to throw them away a few days later. I think that it is good to write out your feelings in a letter, set it aside for a day or so and then decide if it should be mailed. Once I actually mailed a letter (several years ago) but since then they usually get thrown away.
The thing to remember is that words - no matter the delivery method - can't ever be taken back. Yes, sometimes things NEED to be said. Frequently, the words I want to say won't make any positive difference in the situation. If they won't impact the situation in a positive way, why take a chance that they will make a negative impact?
Yes, sometimes bottling things up will make a situation explosive. Share your feelings with a trusted friend (removed from the difficult situation). Write in a journal (oh the journals I have filled!). Write a letter to the person and then throw it away (I don't suggest email, it is way to easy to push send). Someone suggested to me that I write out all the things I want to say, give them to God and bury them somewhere - or watch them burn in a fire. All those hurt feelings and anger can be taken away by Him if we let Him anyway.
So, today, I urge you to reflect on your words. Let God guide you daily so that everything that you (or I!!!!!!) say will glorify Him.
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;
Keep watch over the door of my lips.
***This study was mainly for me. I don't want others to think I am pointing fingers. I NEEDED to read this and hear this and know that it was true. I am sharing in the hopes that it will bless others.***
Words are powerful. Not just spoken words, but words written, blogged, twittered and sang. As I consider my words:
Are they always honest? kind? encouraging?
Am I using words to express the love of Jesus to those around me?
Should I practice silence?
Does this HAVE to be said?
What are the consequences if I DO or DON'T speak?
Does love guide my words?
Those are the tough questions that I am contemplating this morning. I can say that I started several years ago to monitor my speech (I'm NOT perfect though!!!!!) so I do have a tendence to think twice before I speak. I also have written many letters this year, only to throw them away a few days later. I think that it is good to write out your feelings in a letter, set it aside for a day or so and then decide if it should be mailed. Once I actually mailed a letter (several years ago) but since then they usually get thrown away.
The thing to remember is that words - no matter the delivery method - can't ever be taken back. Yes, sometimes things NEED to be said. Frequently, the words I want to say won't make any positive difference in the situation. If they won't impact the situation in a positive way, why take a chance that they will make a negative impact?
Yes, sometimes bottling things up will make a situation explosive. Share your feelings with a trusted friend (removed from the difficult situation). Write in a journal (oh the journals I have filled!). Write a letter to the person and then throw it away (I don't suggest email, it is way to easy to push send). Someone suggested to me that I write out all the things I want to say, give them to God and bury them somewhere - or watch them burn in a fire. All those hurt feelings and anger can be taken away by Him if we let Him anyway.
So, today, I urge you to reflect on your words. Let God guide you daily so that everything that you (or I!!!!!!) say will glorify Him.
Monday, July 25, 2011
God is Always There
During the past (almost) year, we have done a lot of leaning on our friends. Although we weren't terribly private people before, my wonderful husband and I prefered to be the one to do the supporting, rather than being the ones supported. Things change (in an instant) though and I can honestly say that I now know what it is like to be on the receiving end of unconditional love and support. We have been blessed beyond measure and even farther beyond what we will ever deserve.
With that said, our friends have their own lives. Their own families. Their own chores, errands, plans and dreams. While our world felt like it had fallen apart and stopped altogether, their lives were ticking along nicely. In reality, as much as I might have wanted them to, they couldn't all sit here day after day and hold my hand.
All the earthly support in the world can't be there 24/7. So when fear strikes in the middle of the night, after a particularly hard day (the 3rd one this week) or when you know all are busy and don't want to be a bother.....who do you lean on? If you are a Christian, the easy answer is God. And that is true. But when you are at the bottom of the pit, to scared to look out or even think about climbing out, calling on God doesn't always seem helpful.
God is there. He wants to comfort you. He wants you to lean in His arms and be carried by His strength. Here are some suggestions for things that you can do from the bottom of the pit to feel close to your Father.
* read the Psalms
I am on my 3rd read-through of Psalms this year. Every time I have been encouraged and lifted up by selections that I just didn't notice the time before. The Psalms were written by people at the bottom of the pit, they speak the words that you can't and help you explain the emotions that are smothering you.
* pray
Even if it is my favorite "God, I don't know what to do now" prayer. He hears and you will feel closer just by talking to Him. Pour your heart out and then just sit in silence and listen. God says the most wonderful things to me when I just listen.
* be grateful
I know that it is hard to be grateful when you are sitting alone in the bottom of the pit, but you CAN find at least one thing a day to be grateful for. Last fall, around Thanksgiving, I purposed to think of at least 3 things every day that I was thankful for and to openly thank God for those things. My children picked up on it (I was using prayer time at meals for this) and I think it did all of us good to remember the blessings that God gives us. Is the sun shining? Be thankful for that. Are there flowers you can see/smell? Be thankful for the beauty that God has provided. Did the cat just have 11 kittens in the bottom drawer of your dresser? Be thankful for a sweet reminder of God's creation (and a newspaper ad that can give them all away!).
* remember others
While sitting at the bottom of the pit, it is lonely. In our situation we were all in the pit together, but we each still felt very alone. I found it humbling to pray for the needs of others. If you don't know of any others who have needs, watch the news for 5 minutes. Read the newspaper and pray for the families of those listed in the obituary section. No matter how terrible your situation, you have God with you, there are others in this world that don't. How hopeless must their situations be?
* make plans to get out of the pit
Let's face it, the pit isn't a fun place to be and you can't stay there forever. So NOW is a fantastic time to plan your escape. Get a notebook and ask God to show you His plans for you. You might get a teeny tiny glimpse. Work with that. Jot down your hopes and dreams for your future. Seek out the advice of those wonderful friends and bounce ideas off of them. Pray for your dreams. If you feel God leading you in one specific direction, make plans to take a step that way. As long as you are open to God's leading along the way you can't go wrong. If you feel that you hit a wall, or have a setback, don't give up! Reevaluate and start again. (I speak from experience here. Norman and I are not ones to sit back and wallow in our pity. We've been trying many avenues to better our situation. So far, they have all been dead ends. We are to the last option. It seemed drastic, but the way seems clear to us. So we go forward, knowing that we didn't arrive at this choice lightly, we have exhausted all other options and that God is with us, no matter what.)
* sing
I don't care if you can carry a tune, or not, sing. I think that just the process of singing frees your mind to praise God. Process the words to your favorite hymn. Listen to God's promises of mercy and grace and let them wash over you. I promise that if you aren't on your way out of the pit, you will be heading that way soon enough.
* banish Satan
Just the last few weeks, when I feel fear creeping up on me, I have been rebuking Satan. Fear is not from God, it is from Satan, trying to get a handle on you. I refuse to let Satan, and fear, rule my life anymore. I give my problems, concerns and fears to God and I let Him keep them. I don't take them back. They aren't mine anymore. God is far more capable of handling them than I am.
That pit of fear, loneliness and despair is a terrible place to be. I wish that I could say you will never end up there again. I can't. But you don't have to stay there. If you are reading this, you are alive. Life is worth living. Whatever you have lost, a loved one, financial security, relationships, job.......you have your life. Live it with joy. Joy in knowing that God is there no matter what happens. Joy in the small things like flowers and kittens. Joy in helping those who have found themselves in the pit (who would be more qualified than someone who has been there???). All problems can't be solved, but we can go on living without the solution. I encourage you to say a pray, pick up your Bible and purpose today to start living again.
With that said, our friends have their own lives. Their own families. Their own chores, errands, plans and dreams. While our world felt like it had fallen apart and stopped altogether, their lives were ticking along nicely. In reality, as much as I might have wanted them to, they couldn't all sit here day after day and hold my hand.
All the earthly support in the world can't be there 24/7. So when fear strikes in the middle of the night, after a particularly hard day (the 3rd one this week) or when you know all are busy and don't want to be a bother.....who do you lean on? If you are a Christian, the easy answer is God. And that is true. But when you are at the bottom of the pit, to scared to look out or even think about climbing out, calling on God doesn't always seem helpful.
God is there. He wants to comfort you. He wants you to lean in His arms and be carried by His strength. Here are some suggestions for things that you can do from the bottom of the pit to feel close to your Father.
* read the Psalms
I am on my 3rd read-through of Psalms this year. Every time I have been encouraged and lifted up by selections that I just didn't notice the time before. The Psalms were written by people at the bottom of the pit, they speak the words that you can't and help you explain the emotions that are smothering you.
* pray
Even if it is my favorite "God, I don't know what to do now" prayer. He hears and you will feel closer just by talking to Him. Pour your heart out and then just sit in silence and listen. God says the most wonderful things to me when I just listen.
* be grateful
I know that it is hard to be grateful when you are sitting alone in the bottom of the pit, but you CAN find at least one thing a day to be grateful for. Last fall, around Thanksgiving, I purposed to think of at least 3 things every day that I was thankful for and to openly thank God for those things. My children picked up on it (I was using prayer time at meals for this) and I think it did all of us good to remember the blessings that God gives us. Is the sun shining? Be thankful for that. Are there flowers you can see/smell? Be thankful for the beauty that God has provided. Did the cat just have 11 kittens in the bottom drawer of your dresser? Be thankful for a sweet reminder of God's creation (and a newspaper ad that can give them all away!).
* remember others
While sitting at the bottom of the pit, it is lonely. In our situation we were all in the pit together, but we each still felt very alone. I found it humbling to pray for the needs of others. If you don't know of any others who have needs, watch the news for 5 minutes. Read the newspaper and pray for the families of those listed in the obituary section. No matter how terrible your situation, you have God with you, there are others in this world that don't. How hopeless must their situations be?
* make plans to get out of the pit
Let's face it, the pit isn't a fun place to be and you can't stay there forever. So NOW is a fantastic time to plan your escape. Get a notebook and ask God to show you His plans for you. You might get a teeny tiny glimpse. Work with that. Jot down your hopes and dreams for your future. Seek out the advice of those wonderful friends and bounce ideas off of them. Pray for your dreams. If you feel God leading you in one specific direction, make plans to take a step that way. As long as you are open to God's leading along the way you can't go wrong. If you feel that you hit a wall, or have a setback, don't give up! Reevaluate and start again. (I speak from experience here. Norman and I are not ones to sit back and wallow in our pity. We've been trying many avenues to better our situation. So far, they have all been dead ends. We are to the last option. It seemed drastic, but the way seems clear to us. So we go forward, knowing that we didn't arrive at this choice lightly, we have exhausted all other options and that God is with us, no matter what.)
* sing
I don't care if you can carry a tune, or not, sing. I think that just the process of singing frees your mind to praise God. Process the words to your favorite hymn. Listen to God's promises of mercy and grace and let them wash over you. I promise that if you aren't on your way out of the pit, you will be heading that way soon enough.
* banish Satan
Just the last few weeks, when I feel fear creeping up on me, I have been rebuking Satan. Fear is not from God, it is from Satan, trying to get a handle on you. I refuse to let Satan, and fear, rule my life anymore. I give my problems, concerns and fears to God and I let Him keep them. I don't take them back. They aren't mine anymore. God is far more capable of handling them than I am.
That pit of fear, loneliness and despair is a terrible place to be. I wish that I could say you will never end up there again. I can't. But you don't have to stay there. If you are reading this, you are alive. Life is worth living. Whatever you have lost, a loved one, financial security, relationships, job.......you have your life. Live it with joy. Joy in knowing that God is there no matter what happens. Joy in the small things like flowers and kittens. Joy in helping those who have found themselves in the pit (who would be more qualified than someone who has been there???). All problems can't be solved, but we can go on living without the solution. I encourage you to say a pray, pick up your Bible and purpose today to start living again.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Psalm 119: 46-52, Job 2:10
Remember the word to Your servant,
Upon which You have caused me to hope.
This is my comfort in my affliction,
For Your word has given me life.
The proud have me in great derision,
Yet I do not turn aside from Your law.
I remembered Your judgements of old, O Lord,
And have comforted myself.
God's word is comforting
God's word is salvation - by teaching of Jesus
God's word gives home - through the stories of others
God's word shows God's mercy and faithfulness
But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips.
God is good ALL the time. No matter my problem or situation He is ALWAYS there.
God's promises are true.
God didn't promise an easy life. He did promise salvation and a home in Heaven for those who will accept Him.
The goal in my life should always be Heaven.
***This was yesterday's study. It really hit home. God doesn't cause pain in this world but He also doesn't always stop it. That is hard for me to swallow. However, just because God doesn't stop the pain or the terrible situation or the effects of a terrible situation, doesn't mean that He isn't there, helping, leading and blessing along the way. Today's reading was Psalm 119:65-72. I probably won't comment on it here as it ended up very personal for me. I am learning much about pain and affliction. And I'm leaning on my Saviour!***
Upon which You have caused me to hope.
This is my comfort in my affliction,
For Your word has given me life.
The proud have me in great derision,
Yet I do not turn aside from Your law.
I remembered Your judgements of old, O Lord,
And have comforted myself.
God's word is comforting
God's word is salvation - by teaching of Jesus
God's word gives home - through the stories of others
God's word shows God's mercy and faithfulness
But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips.
God is good ALL the time. No matter my problem or situation He is ALWAYS there.
God's promises are true.
God didn't promise an easy life. He did promise salvation and a home in Heaven for those who will accept Him.
The goal in my life should always be Heaven.
***This was yesterday's study. It really hit home. God doesn't cause pain in this world but He also doesn't always stop it. That is hard for me to swallow. However, just because God doesn't stop the pain or the terrible situation or the effects of a terrible situation, doesn't mean that He isn't there, helping, leading and blessing along the way. Today's reading was Psalm 119:65-72. I probably won't comment on it here as it ended up very personal for me. I am learning much about pain and affliction. And I'm leaning on my Saviour!***
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Psalm 119: 15-16
I will meditate on Your precepts,
And Contemplate Your ways.
I will delight myself in Your statutes;
I will not forget Your word
(NKJV)
Meditate? Contemplate? My definition of those words is "to ponder, consider, think about at great length" So, don't just read and go on. Work it over in your mind and heart (for a day? a week? a month?) and consider personal application.
Is this passage an example for me?
Should I do something? (James 1:22) (we've been discussing this in Sunday School as well!)
I am soooo glad that I came upon these verses in Psalm today while I was reading. These fit in exactly with the information about Bible study that I was talking about in Lorrie's 5 R's bundle. The 2 questions above are the ones that I am going to ask myself about each passage I study. From today's study I took away the following points:
1. meditate
2. contemplate
3. take delight in the word of God
4. memorize
I also started a prayer journal with my Bible study notes. I am so excited about this. I will share some tidbits here along the way :) Also, I've been working at reading through the Bible in a year. I got behind in the program I was using through Motivated Moms, so I am reading 3 chapters a day from 2 different books....right now I just started Esther and am most of the way through Psalms. I'm adding a sidebar with where I am reading if anyone is interested. Please, please feel free to share here or on your blog what God has been saying to you! Leave me a link as I would love to read and share in your excitement as well :)
And Contemplate Your ways.
I will delight myself in Your statutes;
I will not forget Your word
(NKJV)
Meditate? Contemplate? My definition of those words is "to ponder, consider, think about at great length" So, don't just read and go on. Work it over in your mind and heart (for a day? a week? a month?) and consider personal application.
Is this passage an example for me?
Should I do something? (James 1:22) (we've been discussing this in Sunday School as well!)
I am soooo glad that I came upon these verses in Psalm today while I was reading. These fit in exactly with the information about Bible study that I was talking about in Lorrie's 5 R's bundle. The 2 questions above are the ones that I am going to ask myself about each passage I study. From today's study I took away the following points:
1. meditate
2. contemplate
3. take delight in the word of God
4. memorize
I also started a prayer journal with my Bible study notes. I am so excited about this. I will share some tidbits here along the way :) Also, I've been working at reading through the Bible in a year. I got behind in the program I was using through Motivated Moms, so I am reading 3 chapters a day from 2 different books....right now I just started Esther and am most of the way through Psalms. I'm adding a sidebar with where I am reading if anyone is interested. Please, please feel free to share here or on your blog what God has been saying to you! Leave me a link as I would love to read and share in your excitement as well :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
Godly Womanhood: 5 R's for Godly Womanhood
I've been saying all along that God has been working through this Gabby Moms program to teach and encourage me this last year. (YOU can share in this teaching, encouragement and sharing also....more on that later) Just 3 weeks ago, I was searching the internet for Bible study helps. 2 days later I opened Godly Womanhood: 5 R's for Godly Womanhood; a bundle of great products from Lorrie Flem.
The first topic that Lorrie covers is Refresh: A Woman Who Kneels Before the Throne Can Stand Before Anyone. Timely, eh? In listening to this audio (also featuring Cindy Rushton) or reading the ebook you will be introduced to the Pregnant BBs and the Pregnant M&Ms......Bible Reading, Bible Study, Memorization, Meditation and Prayer (just read/listen and you will get it!).
Lorrie doesn't just tell you to DO it....she tells you HOW she does it. A busy homeschool mom of many, Lorrie give advice and suggestions for when to have quiet time, how to have quiet time and the benefits of doing so.
Lorrie's advice has really impacted my quiet time. I found her suggestions practical and was so blessed by her many "this is how I do it" tips. I NEED to hear how others do it. Maybe you aren't like me, but if you are, you will love this - Lorrie even shares the scent of her table side candle :)
The 2nd topic that Lorrie tackles is ReKindle: Red Hot is So Cool. I have to say that this was the most indepth, tactful discussion of marriage and intimacy that I have ever heard/read. Gleaning from God's word, Lorrie explains the role of a wife and gives practical advice for pretty much all the problems that could possibly come up in that area. Let me say that a little effort in this area can go a LONG way :) I couldn't agree more when Lorrie said that sometimes you have to act first and the attitude/desire will come later.
Now, there are 3 more topics in this bundle!!!!!! We will tackle them next month. I can't wait to share them with you. If you can't wait to hear more, the 5 R's bundle is available HERE for $24.97.
Have you been blessed by my Gabby Mom reviews? I hope that you have been blessed just as much as I have been blessed by the products. Lorrie has a HUGE vision for Godly Womanhood and I feel privileged to be able to learn from her. If you would also like the opportunity to recieve great products for FREE in return for your honest review (by blog, facebook, twitter, etc), Lorrie would love to have you join the Gabby Mom program. There is an application process that can get you started HERE.
If you would like to learn more about Lorrie Flem and Eternal Encouragement Magazine, check them out at www.eternalencouragement.com Want more info about The Gabby Moms? Head on over to www.thegabbymoms.com and see what others have to say about this product and others that Lorrie has shared with us.
***I received this product in return for an honest review from the Gabby Moms program***
The first topic that Lorrie covers is Refresh: A Woman Who Kneels Before the Throne Can Stand Before Anyone. Timely, eh? In listening to this audio (also featuring Cindy Rushton) or reading the ebook you will be introduced to the Pregnant BBs and the Pregnant M&Ms......Bible Reading, Bible Study, Memorization, Meditation and Prayer (just read/listen and you will get it!).
Lorrie doesn't just tell you to DO it....she tells you HOW she does it. A busy homeschool mom of many, Lorrie give advice and suggestions for when to have quiet time, how to have quiet time and the benefits of doing so.
Lorrie's advice has really impacted my quiet time. I found her suggestions practical and was so blessed by her many "this is how I do it" tips. I NEED to hear how others do it. Maybe you aren't like me, but if you are, you will love this - Lorrie even shares the scent of her table side candle :)
The 2nd topic that Lorrie tackles is ReKindle: Red Hot is So Cool. I have to say that this was the most indepth, tactful discussion of marriage and intimacy that I have ever heard/read. Gleaning from God's word, Lorrie explains the role of a wife and gives practical advice for pretty much all the problems that could possibly come up in that area. Let me say that a little effort in this area can go a LONG way :) I couldn't agree more when Lorrie said that sometimes you have to act first and the attitude/desire will come later.
Now, there are 3 more topics in this bundle!!!!!! We will tackle them next month. I can't wait to share them with you. If you can't wait to hear more, the 5 R's bundle is available HERE for $24.97.
Have you been blessed by my Gabby Mom reviews? I hope that you have been blessed just as much as I have been blessed by the products. Lorrie has a HUGE vision for Godly Womanhood and I feel privileged to be able to learn from her. If you would also like the opportunity to recieve great products for FREE in return for your honest review (by blog, facebook, twitter, etc), Lorrie would love to have you join the Gabby Mom program. There is an application process that can get you started HERE.
If you would like to learn more about Lorrie Flem and Eternal Encouragement Magazine, check them out at www.eternalencouragement.com Want more info about The Gabby Moms? Head on over to www.thegabbymoms.com and see what others have to say about this product and others that Lorrie has shared with us.
***I received this product in return for an honest review from the Gabby Moms program***
Saturday, July 16, 2011
The Babies Grow Up
Abigail turned 14 months this past week. It really doesn't seem like she should be that old. Anyway, we transitioned from bottle to sippy last night. It went really, really well. She didn't even cry, just had a little trouble going to sleep. I found it bittersweet to watch her sleeping this morning though.....knowing that stage is past.......
Abby is taking toddler formula....we've tried twice with milk and she just can't tolerate it. Two bottles of milk = a nasty, blistered diaper rash that takes a week to clear up. As expensive as toddler formula is, I am thankful that we have it so I don't have to worry so much about her nutritional needs.
Her leg issue cleared up....after about 2 days of expensive shoes. LOL
She still doesn't talk. But she makes more sounds. And uses hand signals. And screams. We can generally figure out what she wants. LOL
The boys are growing too. Love, love, love them. I am so incredibly blessed.
Abby is taking toddler formula....we've tried twice with milk and she just can't tolerate it. Two bottles of milk = a nasty, blistered diaper rash that takes a week to clear up. As expensive as toddler formula is, I am thankful that we have it so I don't have to worry so much about her nutritional needs.
Her leg issue cleared up....after about 2 days of expensive shoes. LOL
She still doesn't talk. But she makes more sounds. And uses hand signals. And screams. We can generally figure out what she wants. LOL
The boys are growing too. Love, love, love them. I am so incredibly blessed.
Friday, July 08, 2011
A Creative Streak
Abby and I hit the ground running this morning and caught up on my chores (there always seem to be so many after the day I work LOL). Laundry, housework, cleaned out the van and did some weeding while the little ones played before it got too hot.....pancakes for brunch.....then I hit my ironing board and sewing machine and ended the day with this....
My new diaper bag/purse. It is huge.....6 generous outside pockets and 6 huge inside pockets. I chose the material the same day that little Bear got his hair cut......like a consolation prize for a distraught momma.
I've got the most beautiful lace scarf on needles right now......hand dyed yard from Knit Picks. (Shadow Tonal in Summer Blooms I think)
I can't really think of anything else to share right now....we've got lots going on, but I'm going to keep mum about most of it. I'll share when I can and I'll be sure to update as I finish projects....staying busy!!!!!!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Attitude Counts
You know how I like to keep it real here, don't ya?
I've had a bad attitude all week. Last week anyway. If you follow along on my little blog or facebook, you know that the last 2 weeks have been miserable. I always thought that after a while I would be immune to emotional attacks, but every one hurts just as much as the one before (and when they come in quick succession it is worse!).
In retaliation, I've pulled away. Away from my wonderful husband, away from my adorable children, my church family and friends and away from my sphere, my home. I've been grouchy. (Why shouldn't I, everything is terrible!) I've neglected the house. (Who cares, the kids make it messy and nobody wants to help me clean it up. Nobody wants to buy it anyway!) I've neglected my children. (They don't care if they eat junk and watch TV all day, so why should I?) And my darling husband. (Why isn't he doing something about this????)
See? Nasty, terrible, horrible attitude. As I'm sure you've read in previous posts, I do realize that I have much to be thankful for. I try to see joy in all my trials. Sometimes my attitude gets the better of me though. I'm working on it....always working on it.
I sometimes think that Lorrie and God must talk about me. It always seems that she has just the right words of encouragement just when I need it (and since I got this product several weeks ago, she must be able to see in the future too! - just joking :))
I've been listening to 2 mp3s lately; 12 Keys to a Queenly Castle and Attitude Adjustments. Lorrie doesn't mince words. She is adament (and she is correct!) that my attitude is MY choice. I have learned over the last year that I can't control what other people do but I can control how I respond - I CAN control my attitude - about everything! My circumstances don't control me. Although I may not be able to actively change them at this time I CAN control my attitudes and actions regarding those circumstances.
In 12 Keys to a Queenly Castle Lorrie reminds me of my God-given role, my sphere of influence and the mandate that God has given me to raise, teach and train my children. She begins by reminding me to treat my husband as a king deserves to be treated (whether I think he deserves it or not! - mine does :)). Then she moves on to my home, my children and showing hospitality.
Attitude Adjustments uses the alphabet to give 26 "reminders" about how I have the ability to change my attitude, how God wants my attitude to be and the rewards of a joyful attitude (and obedience to God).
These are great Mp3s! They are available at Eternal Encouragement starting at $6.95 (and are available as a hard CD also).
Even better, Lorrie has offered to bless a reader of a Gabby Moms blog with a FREE Mp3!
To enter:
1. Go to EE link to choose MP3 file they want to win
2. Go to The Gabby Moms blog where June's review links are posted and comment
a. which blog they read about the giveaway (Miss Carie at Living, Loving and Learning with the Lord!)
b. name of MP3 file they want if chosen as winner
c. email contact info
3. Winner will be chosen on Saturday, June 18th via random.org.
4. Winner will be notified by email to contact info left in comments
5. Winner will have 48 hours to respond to claim prize or an alternate winner will be chosen
You control your attitude, don't let your attitude control you, your family and your home!
***I received these items for an honest review from the Gabby Moms program.
I've had a bad attitude all week. Last week anyway. If you follow along on my little blog or facebook, you know that the last 2 weeks have been miserable. I always thought that after a while I would be immune to emotional attacks, but every one hurts just as much as the one before (and when they come in quick succession it is worse!).
In retaliation, I've pulled away. Away from my wonderful husband, away from my adorable children, my church family and friends and away from my sphere, my home. I've been grouchy. (Why shouldn't I, everything is terrible!) I've neglected the house. (Who cares, the kids make it messy and nobody wants to help me clean it up. Nobody wants to buy it anyway!) I've neglected my children. (They don't care if they eat junk and watch TV all day, so why should I?) And my darling husband. (Why isn't he doing something about this????)
See? Nasty, terrible, horrible attitude. As I'm sure you've read in previous posts, I do realize that I have much to be thankful for. I try to see joy in all my trials. Sometimes my attitude gets the better of me though. I'm working on it....always working on it.
I've been listening to 2 mp3s lately; 12 Keys to a Queenly Castle and Attitude Adjustments. Lorrie doesn't mince words. She is adament (and she is correct!) that my attitude is MY choice. I have learned over the last year that I can't control what other people do but I can control how I respond - I CAN control my attitude - about everything! My circumstances don't control me. Although I may not be able to actively change them at this time I CAN control my attitudes and actions regarding those circumstances.
In 12 Keys to a Queenly Castle Lorrie reminds me of my God-given role, my sphere of influence and the mandate that God has given me to raise, teach and train my children. She begins by reminding me to treat my husband as a king deserves to be treated (whether I think he deserves it or not! - mine does :)). Then she moves on to my home, my children and showing hospitality.
Attitude Adjustments uses the alphabet to give 26 "reminders" about how I have the ability to change my attitude, how God wants my attitude to be and the rewards of a joyful attitude (and obedience to God).
These are great Mp3s! They are available at Eternal Encouragement starting at $6.95 (and are available as a hard CD also).
Even better, Lorrie has offered to bless a reader of a Gabby Moms blog with a FREE Mp3!
To enter:
1. Go to EE link to choose MP3 file they want to win
2. Go to The Gabby Moms blog where June's review links are posted and comment
a. which blog they read about the giveaway (Miss Carie at Living, Loving and Learning with the Lord!)
b. name of MP3 file they want if chosen as winner
c. email contact info
3. Winner will be chosen on Saturday, June 18th via random.org.
4. Winner will be notified by email to contact info left in comments
5. Winner will have 48 hours to respond to claim prize or an alternate winner will be chosen
You control your attitude, don't let your attitude control you, your family and your home!
***I received these items for an honest review from the Gabby Moms program.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Female Eyes Only
Given the nosie nature of men (at least the men I know) I have no doubt that some will decide to read this just because I said they shouldn't.....whatever. Just don't say I didn't warn you :)
Women have different.....issues....to deal with than men. Monthly issues. Sometimes expensive monthly issues.
I've found a way to deal with these issues while saving money and helping my health in the process.
Cloth
You've read my previous cloth diapering post, right? Cloth diapers have been used forever by women that didn't have any other options. Although I have heard many who beg to differ, using disposable diapers isn't really any different than using cloth. Not really......with one you have more trash, with the other you have more laundry.
What do you suppose women did during the monthly "curse" 100 years ago? Think about it for a minute. Now, let me tell you how I handle it today.
Let me begin by saying that my monthly cycle is very heavy. If I use disposable products then I am spending anywhere from $10-$15 a month on supplies (unless I am careful, find coupons and sales, etc). That adds up quickly. About 5 years ago, I heard some women discussing cloth feminine products on a message board I frequented. I decided that they must be crazy, but I was VERY curious. About 4 years ago, I searched and searched and finally bought some "mama cloth" from Joyful Living Naturals. I ended up purchasing 2 sets of the postpartum size (heavy cycle - remember?). I think the cost at the time was about $42. It depends on what size you want. You CAN make your own. Patterns abound on the internet for purchase or free. A friend made some just tracing the ones I had already purchased. I will probably make the ones I need from now on, but this was the easiest way to get started and 4 years later, I am still using the ones I originally purchased.
How do I "handle" them? It really isn't that big of a deal. You just have to change the way you think. I'm not touching anything gross. I mean, really, you have to take them off whether they are cloth or disposable. I remove mine, fold once and put into an ice cream bucket (with lid) under the bathroom sink. My wonderful husband knows not to look. I keep the clean ones under the sink when I don't need them on in a basket on the back of the toliet when I do. When the bucket is almost full (or on diaper washing day) I throw them into the load of diapers, rinse the bucket out (usually only at the end of my cycle) and put the bucket back under the sink. When I don't have a babe in diapers I will wash them with towels, sheets or dark colors. I don't want to bleach them so I keep them out of the white loads.
I don't care what you say, blood is blood. I deal with blood on clothing all the time around here. (I have THREE boys!) It washes. I don't worry about these items staining because NOBODY sees them. Who cares? But really, almost all of mine are stain free. I use disposables when out and about so I go through about 1/2 a package a month. You could easily keep a ziplock baggie in your purse and use the cloth pads all the time (I've done that when money was extra tight). Just like cloth diapers. I have yet to notice a smell on me, in my bag or in my bathroom.
Also, as a bonus, I've noticed that my cycle is lighter. Not non-existent lighter, but noticeably lighter. I had heard from various discussions that this would happen, but honestly didn't believe it. I now know it is true. (It has something to do with the chemicals in the disposable products).
So, there ya go. Now you know all kinds of stuff about me you didn't dream of, did you? LOL You can think that I'm weird. That's ok. I can handle it. If you've got any questions, let me know :)
Women have different.....issues....to deal with than men. Monthly issues. Sometimes expensive monthly issues.
I've found a way to deal with these issues while saving money and helping my health in the process.
Cloth
You've read my previous cloth diapering post, right? Cloth diapers have been used forever by women that didn't have any other options. Although I have heard many who beg to differ, using disposable diapers isn't really any different than using cloth. Not really......with one you have more trash, with the other you have more laundry.
What do you suppose women did during the monthly "curse" 100 years ago? Think about it for a minute. Now, let me tell you how I handle it today.
Let me begin by saying that my monthly cycle is very heavy. If I use disposable products then I am spending anywhere from $10-$15 a month on supplies (unless I am careful, find coupons and sales, etc). That adds up quickly. About 5 years ago, I heard some women discussing cloth feminine products on a message board I frequented. I decided that they must be crazy, but I was VERY curious. About 4 years ago, I searched and searched and finally bought some "mama cloth" from Joyful Living Naturals. I ended up purchasing 2 sets of the postpartum size (heavy cycle - remember?). I think the cost at the time was about $42. It depends on what size you want. You CAN make your own. Patterns abound on the internet for purchase or free. A friend made some just tracing the ones I had already purchased. I will probably make the ones I need from now on, but this was the easiest way to get started and 4 years later, I am still using the ones I originally purchased.
How do I "handle" them? It really isn't that big of a deal. You just have to change the way you think. I'm not touching anything gross. I mean, really, you have to take them off whether they are cloth or disposable. I remove mine, fold once and put into an ice cream bucket (with lid) under the bathroom sink. My wonderful husband knows not to look. I keep the clean ones under the sink when I don't need them on in a basket on the back of the toliet when I do. When the bucket is almost full (or on diaper washing day) I throw them into the load of diapers, rinse the bucket out (usually only at the end of my cycle) and put the bucket back under the sink. When I don't have a babe in diapers I will wash them with towels, sheets or dark colors. I don't want to bleach them so I keep them out of the white loads.
I don't care what you say, blood is blood. I deal with blood on clothing all the time around here. (I have THREE boys!) It washes. I don't worry about these items staining because NOBODY sees them. Who cares? But really, almost all of mine are stain free. I use disposables when out and about so I go through about 1/2 a package a month. You could easily keep a ziplock baggie in your purse and use the cloth pads all the time (I've done that when money was extra tight). Just like cloth diapers. I have yet to notice a smell on me, in my bag or in my bathroom.
Also, as a bonus, I've noticed that my cycle is lighter. Not non-existent lighter, but noticeably lighter. I had heard from various discussions that this would happen, but honestly didn't believe it. I now know it is true. (It has something to do with the chemicals in the disposable products).
So, there ya go. Now you know all kinds of stuff about me you didn't dream of, did you? LOL You can think that I'm weird. That's ok. I can handle it. If you've got any questions, let me know :)
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Coth Diapering
It always comes up in conversation (especially with a little girl often in a dress)......are those CLOTH diapers???
Yes, yes they are.
No, I haven't lost my mind. No, we are not dirt poor. No, I'm not super mom. No, it's not really that big of a deal. No, you don't have to touch poop (or anymore often then you would with a disposable).
Moving on.
I started using cloth diapers when Bear was 4 months old. I bought my first set from Craig's list for $50 plus $10 shipping. I bought a few more over the next year (cheaply made - but cheap!). Yes, they saved us a ton of money. I used disposable diapers any time we went somewhere and at night but my diaper bill was very low.
What do I do with the "dirty" ones? Well, the wet diapers get thrown into a medium sized trashcan lined with a pillowcase. When it is full, I pull the pillowcase and take it to the washing machine. The "dirty" diapers get taken immediately to the bathroom and dipped in the potty to removed any solids. Then I wrap the very wet diaper into a towel and set on the top of the dryer. I never notice a smell in the laundry room.
Washing: When it comes time to wash the diapers (usually every other day with my stash) I toss them in the washing machine. I do 1 cold water rinse, then set the washing machine to hot wash/cold rinse and add the appropriate amount of Rockin Green Diaper Detergent (this stuff works great on clothes also). When that is done I run another cold water rinse. Then into the dryer or onto the clothes line they go.
I only used cloth with Bear until he was about 16 months old. At that time his bladder was so big that he would leak very quickly. So we went back to disposables until he was potty trained at his 2nd birthday.
When Abby was born I used disposable diapers until she was about 4 months old. The diapers I had left from Bear were sized and at 4 months she could finally fit into them. However, they had been used when I bought them, and then used for Bear so several of them weren't usable anymore. My stash had gotten quite small. I made a stop at Mommy and Me boutique in Effingham and over the next 3 months bought 18 BumGenius 4.0 diapers. I LOVE BumGenius diapers. I cloth diaper ALL the time now. I carry a wet bag in my diaper bag. Diapering while out-and-about is the same as it is when home. I use cloth at night with no issues at all. I bought a case of Size 3 Pampers in October and if it wasn't for the washing machine kicking the bucket I would still have almost a full case (I still have half a case). The BumGenius diapers are all one size. The 18 diapers I bought in October-December will last Abby until she is potty trained (and they work on a baby as small as 6 lbs). Since Abby is our last baby I will be selling my stash when she is potty trained so I will make some of my investment back then (most BumGenius diapers can be resold for 50% of new price).
Cloth diapering and using the laundrymat aren't an issue either. I manage the diapers here at home the same way and then wash them in town with the rest of my laundry. The diapers don't make a full load in the big machines alone so I wash them with towels or sheets.
So now that you are properly freaked out, I'll tell you that I also use cloth "women's" products as well. But that's for another post. LOL
Yes, yes they are.
No, I haven't lost my mind. No, we are not dirt poor. No, I'm not super mom. No, it's not really that big of a deal. No, you don't have to touch poop (or anymore often then you would with a disposable).
Moving on.
I started using cloth diapers when Bear was 4 months old. I bought my first set from Craig's list for $50 plus $10 shipping. I bought a few more over the next year (cheaply made - but cheap!). Yes, they saved us a ton of money. I used disposable diapers any time we went somewhere and at night but my diaper bill was very low.
What do I do with the "dirty" ones? Well, the wet diapers get thrown into a medium sized trashcan lined with a pillowcase. When it is full, I pull the pillowcase and take it to the washing machine. The "dirty" diapers get taken immediately to the bathroom and dipped in the potty to removed any solids. Then I wrap the very wet diaper into a towel and set on the top of the dryer. I never notice a smell in the laundry room.
Washing: When it comes time to wash the diapers (usually every other day with my stash) I toss them in the washing machine. I do 1 cold water rinse, then set the washing machine to hot wash/cold rinse and add the appropriate amount of Rockin Green Diaper Detergent (this stuff works great on clothes also). When that is done I run another cold water rinse. Then into the dryer or onto the clothes line they go.
I only used cloth with Bear until he was about 16 months old. At that time his bladder was so big that he would leak very quickly. So we went back to disposables until he was potty trained at his 2nd birthday.
When Abby was born I used disposable diapers until she was about 4 months old. The diapers I had left from Bear were sized and at 4 months she could finally fit into them. However, they had been used when I bought them, and then used for Bear so several of them weren't usable anymore. My stash had gotten quite small. I made a stop at Mommy and Me boutique in Effingham and over the next 3 months bought 18 BumGenius 4.0 diapers. I LOVE BumGenius diapers. I cloth diaper ALL the time now. I carry a wet bag in my diaper bag. Diapering while out-and-about is the same as it is when home. I use cloth at night with no issues at all. I bought a case of Size 3 Pampers in October and if it wasn't for the washing machine kicking the bucket I would still have almost a full case (I still have half a case). The BumGenius diapers are all one size. The 18 diapers I bought in October-December will last Abby until she is potty trained (and they work on a baby as small as 6 lbs). Since Abby is our last baby I will be selling my stash when she is potty trained so I will make some of my investment back then (most BumGenius diapers can be resold for 50% of new price).
Cloth diapering and using the laundrymat aren't an issue either. I manage the diapers here at home the same way and then wash them in town with the rest of my laundry. The diapers don't make a full load in the big machines alone so I wash them with towels or sheets.
So now that you are properly freaked out, I'll tell you that I also use cloth "women's" products as well. But that's for another post. LOL
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
A Release from Expectations
I just realized today that Miss Abby is almost 13 months old......and she still take a bottle.
While that might not be a revelation to most of you and you may wonder why I find that interesting, let me explain. All of the boys were weaned from their bottles with no fanfare at all within days of their 1st birthday. With Lee and Greg we literally threw the bottles away. I took them from Bear and hid them just a few days before his birthday.
Why the difference? Well, I think part of it has to do with the "older buy wiser" aspect of parenting. We aren't as grouchy and defensive about things like that anymore. I have yet to see a 5 year old sucking a bottle and I've seen some pretty lax parenting behaviors before.
Abby has a milk sensitivity. We tried to put her on regular milk 6 weeks ago, but she had a horrible reaction to it. Our nurse practitioner recommended we go back to formula for a month and see if it cleared up (it did) and then we would try to ease her into regular milk after that. We have about 9 more days of the month back on formula. Next month we are going to try making the bottles half whole milk, half regular formula. If she does well, then the next month will be 3/4 whole milk, 1/4 regular formula. Hopefully that will take care of the problem. It is much easier to do such things in a bottle with measurements on the side. I could make up a pitcher and keep it in the fridge with the correct measurements but honestly, we don't have that kind of fridge room. LOL
My realization came today that I'm not uptight or defensive about her still taking a bottle. Why the sudden chance in my personality? The people that tend to be so critical of such things aren't really spending mass quantities of time with us right now.
It is a revelation to me that I had inadvertantly surrounded myself by some very critical people. Why? I can assure you that won't be a problem anymore. Such a little thing has made such a difference in my responding attitude. I'm not defensive. I'm not uptight. I actually hadn't even given the whole bottle thing a thought....until this morning. LOL
Surround yourself with loving, kind, supportive people. It is amazing the difference that will make in your life :)
While that might not be a revelation to most of you and you may wonder why I find that interesting, let me explain. All of the boys were weaned from their bottles with no fanfare at all within days of their 1st birthday. With Lee and Greg we literally threw the bottles away. I took them from Bear and hid them just a few days before his birthday.
Why the difference? Well, I think part of it has to do with the "older buy wiser" aspect of parenting. We aren't as grouchy and defensive about things like that anymore. I have yet to see a 5 year old sucking a bottle and I've seen some pretty lax parenting behaviors before.
Abby has a milk sensitivity. We tried to put her on regular milk 6 weeks ago, but she had a horrible reaction to it. Our nurse practitioner recommended we go back to formula for a month and see if it cleared up (it did) and then we would try to ease her into regular milk after that. We have about 9 more days of the month back on formula. Next month we are going to try making the bottles half whole milk, half regular formula. If she does well, then the next month will be 3/4 whole milk, 1/4 regular formula. Hopefully that will take care of the problem. It is much easier to do such things in a bottle with measurements on the side. I could make up a pitcher and keep it in the fridge with the correct measurements but honestly, we don't have that kind of fridge room. LOL
My realization came today that I'm not uptight or defensive about her still taking a bottle. Why the sudden chance in my personality? The people that tend to be so critical of such things aren't really spending mass quantities of time with us right now.
It is a revelation to me that I had inadvertantly surrounded myself by some very critical people. Why? I can assure you that won't be a problem anymore. Such a little thing has made such a difference in my responding attitude. I'm not defensive. I'm not uptight. I actually hadn't even given the whole bottle thing a thought....until this morning. LOL
Surround yourself with loving, kind, supportive people. It is amazing the difference that will make in your life :)
Monday, June 06, 2011
Monday, Monday
Good morning!
We've had no resolution to our ongoing struggles but I am choosing to embrace this Monday with joy, faith and hope.
Our weekend was ok. The guys took part in a fishing tournament on Saturday, catching a whopping 77 lbs. in fish between them. That's a lot of fish! The fishfry that night was nice and it was a blessing to visit with friends and neighbors.
Sunday was an emotional day for me. I spent the morning crying out to God and searching His word for some hope and peace. Psalm 27 was in my daily reading and I can't begin to express how much that passage spoke to me. A friend from church stopped by after lunch for a wonderful visit and then our minister/counselor was here for supper. It was nice being able to visit and share burdens with those that love us. I don't understand why some people chose to treat us the way they do, but I can see those who have Christ in their heart. Their expressions of love for us are truly uplifting during our times of trouble.
Our new-used washing machine made it about 2 weeks before it began leaking large quantities of water. LOL So it is back to the laundrymat I go today. We aren't naked yet, but quickly heading in that direction. I think Norman said he was just going to bite the bullet and buy a new one later this week. With a family our size I was using $40 a week just to wash laundry at the laundrymat - I take it home to dry it. It doesn't take long for that to add up.
I think I am starting a job this week. A dear friend "sits" with an older woman during the week and was looking to share some hours :) I had been looking for some part time hours and this will be a wonderful blessing as she and I can work out days that work best for both of us. If my day/s land when Norman is working I can take Abigail with me, leaving Bear with the older brothers. It is an answer to prayer for sure!!!!!
It has been so hot, I've been neglecting my flower gardens. I've got to get out there to them this week no matter the weather. Maybe today. It is best to just do it and not dwell on it all week.
Well, I need to get to work. I have an unpleasant phone call to make in a bit and then off to town I go. Have a wonderful day friends!
We've had no resolution to our ongoing struggles but I am choosing to embrace this Monday with joy, faith and hope.
Our weekend was ok. The guys took part in a fishing tournament on Saturday, catching a whopping 77 lbs. in fish between them. That's a lot of fish! The fishfry that night was nice and it was a blessing to visit with friends and neighbors.
Sunday was an emotional day for me. I spent the morning crying out to God and searching His word for some hope and peace. Psalm 27 was in my daily reading and I can't begin to express how much that passage spoke to me. A friend from church stopped by after lunch for a wonderful visit and then our minister/counselor was here for supper. It was nice being able to visit and share burdens with those that love us. I don't understand why some people chose to treat us the way they do, but I can see those who have Christ in their heart. Their expressions of love for us are truly uplifting during our times of trouble.
Our new-used washing machine made it about 2 weeks before it began leaking large quantities of water. LOL So it is back to the laundrymat I go today. We aren't naked yet, but quickly heading in that direction. I think Norman said he was just going to bite the bullet and buy a new one later this week. With a family our size I was using $40 a week just to wash laundry at the laundrymat - I take it home to dry it. It doesn't take long for that to add up.
I think I am starting a job this week. A dear friend "sits" with an older woman during the week and was looking to share some hours :) I had been looking for some part time hours and this will be a wonderful blessing as she and I can work out days that work best for both of us. If my day/s land when Norman is working I can take Abigail with me, leaving Bear with the older brothers. It is an answer to prayer for sure!!!!!
It has been so hot, I've been neglecting my flower gardens. I've got to get out there to them this week no matter the weather. Maybe today. It is best to just do it and not dwell on it all week.
Well, I need to get to work. I have an unpleasant phone call to make in a bit and then off to town I go. Have a wonderful day friends!
Friday, June 03, 2011
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom
PCOS
It's one of those silent but deadly things.....nobody has a clue you have it. When/If you choose to share news of the diagnosis, many believe it is just another "woman" thing. Directly after my diagnosis many people I told thought it was just a fertility issue. If I had a penny for every time someone told me to lose weight, I would be rich.
For full and complete information regarding a diagnosis of PCOS please go HERE. I am NOT a doctor. I am sharing my experience with this disease in the hopes that it can help someone else.
After my diagnosis in Oct. 2006, my first and main goal was to get pregnant. If we hadn't been trying to get pregnant, I may never have been diagnosed in the first place. That goal was accomplished and Bear was born in Oct. 2007. For the next year I muddled along. I knew what I was supposed to be doing but honestly, I didn't want to do it. I was sticking my head in the sand....as long as I didn't admit I had a problem I didn't have to fix it. But reality set in and my wonderful doctor sent me to a nutritionist. She was fantastic! (and covered by insurance) With her guidance and support (and accountability), I began tracking what I ate and exercising.
Let me tell you.....I am a carb-a-holic. A PCOS diet is low carb. Low and carb are not words I want to hear in the same paragraph let alone the same sentence. I won't lie and say it was easy or great, but it works. I also posted my daily walks and distances on facebook for accountability. It helped that I could walk while pushing Bear in a stroller around town during the older boys soccer practices. The weight slowly slid off. Slowly. But I kept at it.
I was still chugging along when I found out I was pregnant with Abigail in September 2009. All that diet, exercise and medication (more on that later) had finally caused me to ovulate. Surprise! A wonderful surprise she was. After she was born in May 2010 I knew that I had to get back on track. At my 6 week checkup I had my doctor do my referal to Carol (I had to stop going while pregnant because she couldn't counsel weight loss while I was pregnant). I was so excited to go to my first meeting with her......I arrived, only to find out that my insurance wouldn't cover her anymore - and there wasn't any way I could afford the $90 a month (if I only saw her once a mont!) out of pocket. Bleh. I tried Weight Watchers for a while (at $40 a month it was almost affordable) but I missed the one-on-one accountability and eventually I just couldn't spent the money or time going to weekly meetings.
I don't do well alone. I've gained 15 lbs since Abby was born. I was just at my 6 month checkup and got the butt chewing from my wonderful doctor. I know, really, I do. It's hard to exercise when you don't feel safe walking down your road anymore (when soccer season gets here in Aug. I'll be without excuse). I hate exercise videos. Its hard to stop eating when life is just so screwed up and for a while the pan of brownies really does make everything better.
I KNOW that I would love to be a few sizes smaller....able to run after the kids without gasping for air......have a little self confidence rather than wishing I could fade into the wall. I KNOW that diabetes, heart disease and cancer are greater risks for me if I don't get this under control. I KNOW.
However hard it is for a "normal" woman to lose weight, it is twice as hard for someone with PCOS. The way our bodies produce hormones and process carbs....we are fighting a losing battle before the war ever starts. BUT we can WIN. I know women who have won. Discipline and hard work and they have been able to control with symptoms. They don't have to feel self conscious or shop in the plus size section. They don't have to feel inferior to the "thin" girls. They improved their health. I CAN do this.
Why is diet and exercise so important? The medication that helps PCOS, the main mostly prescribed medication is Metformin. Metformin has a nasty side effect of stomach troubles. If you don't use diet and exercise to your advantage then you have to take higher dosages of metformin. Higher dosages mean more nasty side effects. Let's just say the more metformin you have to take, the closer you need to be to a bathroom...always.
(((sigh))) So, I'm bound and determined to do this. For me. For my little girl (PCOS is genetic). Healthy habits now will help her in the future. I deserve to be healthy.
It's one of those silent but deadly things.....nobody has a clue you have it. When/If you choose to share news of the diagnosis, many believe it is just another "woman" thing. Directly after my diagnosis many people I told thought it was just a fertility issue. If I had a penny for every time someone told me to lose weight, I would be rich.
For full and complete information regarding a diagnosis of PCOS please go HERE. I am NOT a doctor. I am sharing my experience with this disease in the hopes that it can help someone else.
After my diagnosis in Oct. 2006, my first and main goal was to get pregnant. If we hadn't been trying to get pregnant, I may never have been diagnosed in the first place. That goal was accomplished and Bear was born in Oct. 2007. For the next year I muddled along. I knew what I was supposed to be doing but honestly, I didn't want to do it. I was sticking my head in the sand....as long as I didn't admit I had a problem I didn't have to fix it. But reality set in and my wonderful doctor sent me to a nutritionist. She was fantastic! (and covered by insurance) With her guidance and support (and accountability), I began tracking what I ate and exercising.
Let me tell you.....I am a carb-a-holic. A PCOS diet is low carb. Low and carb are not words I want to hear in the same paragraph let alone the same sentence. I won't lie and say it was easy or great, but it works. I also posted my daily walks and distances on facebook for accountability. It helped that I could walk while pushing Bear in a stroller around town during the older boys soccer practices. The weight slowly slid off. Slowly. But I kept at it.
I was still chugging along when I found out I was pregnant with Abigail in September 2009. All that diet, exercise and medication (more on that later) had finally caused me to ovulate. Surprise! A wonderful surprise she was. After she was born in May 2010 I knew that I had to get back on track. At my 6 week checkup I had my doctor do my referal to Carol (I had to stop going while pregnant because she couldn't counsel weight loss while I was pregnant). I was so excited to go to my first meeting with her......I arrived, only to find out that my insurance wouldn't cover her anymore - and there wasn't any way I could afford the $90 a month (if I only saw her once a mont!) out of pocket. Bleh. I tried Weight Watchers for a while (at $40 a month it was almost affordable) but I missed the one-on-one accountability and eventually I just couldn't spent the money or time going to weekly meetings.
I don't do well alone. I've gained 15 lbs since Abby was born. I was just at my 6 month checkup and got the butt chewing from my wonderful doctor. I know, really, I do. It's hard to exercise when you don't feel safe walking down your road anymore (when soccer season gets here in Aug. I'll be without excuse). I hate exercise videos. Its hard to stop eating when life is just so screwed up and for a while the pan of brownies really does make everything better.
I KNOW that I would love to be a few sizes smaller....able to run after the kids without gasping for air......have a little self confidence rather than wishing I could fade into the wall. I KNOW that diabetes, heart disease and cancer are greater risks for me if I don't get this under control. I KNOW.
However hard it is for a "normal" woman to lose weight, it is twice as hard for someone with PCOS. The way our bodies produce hormones and process carbs....we are fighting a losing battle before the war ever starts. BUT we can WIN. I know women who have won. Discipline and hard work and they have been able to control with symptoms. They don't have to feel self conscious or shop in the plus size section. They don't have to feel inferior to the "thin" girls. They improved their health. I CAN do this.
Why is diet and exercise so important? The medication that helps PCOS, the main mostly prescribed medication is Metformin. Metformin has a nasty side effect of stomach troubles. If you don't use diet and exercise to your advantage then you have to take higher dosages of metformin. Higher dosages mean more nasty side effects. Let's just say the more metformin you have to take, the closer you need to be to a bathroom...always.
(((sigh))) So, I'm bound and determined to do this. For me. For my little girl (PCOS is genetic). Healthy habits now will help her in the future. I deserve to be healthy.
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